Lost Brothers
by DutchNadya
Summary: First FanFic: Everything changes when a lost friend comes back in Sam his life. But nothing is what it seems, and the reunion might lead to his dead. (WARNING: GETS PAINFULL). PLEASE: REVIEW! i do not own Falshpoint. FINAL CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1

This is my First Fanfic so please be nice. I am from the Netherlands, so my Englisch isn't perfect. I am sorry for any mistake I made.

The characters of Flashpoint are not mine.

Enjoy

Greetz, Nadya

( )

The man looked up from his book. His head was hurting en he absolutely didn't want anybody to come in, but the moment he saw the strange look of the guy that walked in, he knew the message was important, life changing most likely. The face of the guy, a young corporal, was so full of happiness but at the same time it was an extremely nervous facial The man wondered what would had made him so extremely nervously en he decided that this time he might listen to the fellow. The last two years he barely had, he just could not get interested with the words of the corporal or with anybody else's. He just wanted to be alone.

'What?' he asked without really wanting to know the answer.  
'It's over!' the man almost screamed it, 'We got him and it is over'.

The man immediately stood up shocked and he started to jump around like he was a little boy. 'Really? Like for real? I am done, I can go home?'

His head was filled with thoughts full of happiness. He barely spoke the words out for real. The young guy said yes over twenty times before he could believe it. That moment a big man walked in the room. The guy had never met him before, but he was very big, scary and most likely extremely strong. Everything about him told you to respect him and obey.

'Congrets, young man' he simply said. 'I am here to bring you back to where ever you want to go. You are no longer in danger and therefor you are free to go. It might be smart to start packing the stuff you want to take with you, though. We are leaving in an hour.'

The man nodded. His face was full of relief and happiness. He started packing the stuff he needed, some clothes, his book, some letters and of course the pictures. For a moment he stopped to look at them. He could not wait to see his friends again. To see who survived, he sadly thought. He smiled for a moment not wanting to destroy his happiness with such negative thoughts. They were all right, they had to be. He wondered if he could ask the sergeant to bring him to his friends. He laughed silly at himself for that. He made up his mind and just decided that of all places he wanted to go back to the dangerous one. Afghanistan.

The big sergeant came in again en asked him if he was ready to leave. Yes, he nodded en he took the big army bag with his stuff.  
'Where do you want me to bring you?' the man asked nicely. 'I already know you've lost your parents a long time ago, but maybe a girl of a friend? Whatever you like.'

'Afghanistan' the young man said simply.

The sergeant looked at him strangely, like he had gone nuts. 'Seriously? You want to go back to the place that brought you here?' The young admitted that his destination was strange. But still.

'Just bring me to Kandahar. I have to see my friends. The look on their face is just going to be..' he stopped for a moment en the sergeant looked at him. The man was silent for a moment, full of thought how he was going to tell his friends were he had been. '..it's going to be hilarious. There probably kill me. At least some of them will. But they will be really happy too, I suppose.'

The sergeant grinned.' I am pretty sure they will, young man. Well alright I make the arrangement for a plain while were driving.' He said while he putted the stuff in the car and opened the door.

The young man could only grin, he was thinking about his friends en how they would react. He just couldn't wait. He was so happy he could finally see them again. For real, instead of pictures en stories. He was so happy he could only smile. Then a thought came through is mind en he smiled even bigger.

'What?' the big man asked him, after seeing his smile only grew bigger.  
'I just thought of the fact I can see my best friend again, after three years.' The big man nodded en smiled to. 'He probably would love to see you as well.'

He man agreed, he now could finally see his best friend again, he finally could tell him the truth en annoy him all day like he used to do. He could finally be his brother again. Yes, he could finally see Sam.

( )

Hope you liked it!


	2. Meeting

Hey All,

Here I am again. I really (REALLY!) enjoyed all the reviews and follows. Here comes part 2 of this story. I hope you all like it. I am searching for a BETA reader, so please be patient with me and my mistakes.

BTW I am working with the feedback

So, who is the lost Brother? Here comes the answer. Hope you all enjoy!

(The characters of flashpoint aren't mine.)

….

Sam could hear them easily. He could hear them across the hallway while he came from the dressing room. He wondered what they were talking about. It was still early in the morning, his shift had just started, but he had came in a little late. His night had been full of nightmares and when he finally had been able to sleep for real, he slept way to long. He didn't hear his alarm this morning and here he was, full of shame, coming in a little late. The nightmares irritated him, they were always about the dessert. About what he saw, about what he did. Only during the nights, his sins seemed so much bigger. They came back to haunt him when the night was at its darkest point.

As he came closer to the gym he could hear his team clearer, they were arguing about something someone did, but he didn't understand who or what they were talking about. As he walked into the gym everybody stopped talking and sporting, and looked at him, accusing? Annoyed maybe? He looked up at them, wondering what was the right thing to say at the moment.

'Whatever it is, I didn't do it' He said before changing his mind saying: 'unless it is something good, than I probably did it twice.'

This made the rest smile, and Ed snicker. 'Don't worry Sam, for once it had nothing to do with you.' The team continued their work out. Both Jules en Leah were on the bikes, Wordy was running and Ed and Spike were arguing on the mat, the boss was using the punching back. Sam looked around for a moment, decided to use the weights and walked over to the bench to put his stuff down.

'You're late Sam.' Greg stated. 'Yeah, sorry overslept. Won't happen again.' Greg nodded and continued his work out.

'But what was this all about? You're talking I mean.' Sam questioned his team, while choosing the right weights. It made them look at him again.

'Well' Spike immediately jumped in, leaving Ed alone on the mat. He was smiling way to brightly for the current time. 'We were having a discussion. You see Ed here, believes it is a good thing to punish Clark because he came home drunk last night. Clark has an pool party at there house this weekend, and Ed decided that It is a good thing to hang by the house, the entire day! That is a terrible and inhuman punishment, way too bad for such a little thing.'

'It is not', Ed interrupted, leaving the mat en standing next to Spike. 'He promised to be home and watch Izzy, But because he did not show up, Sophie and I could not go to diner nor the movies. He did not call or anything, which freaked Sophie out, and when he finally came home he was drunk as hell. He disserves to be punishment. It is a freaking school night!' he tried to explain, clearly still annoyed by his sons behaviour.

'Than give him chores or make him stay at home or something, but don't embarrass him in such a terrible way!' Spike said.

The rest of the team sighed as Ed started to disagree again. 'Samtastic?' Spike eventually asked hopefully.

'I.. well, I think that if you embarrass him that way, he'll never forgive you. Which means you never will be able to go out again. And there is no way Sophie will let you give such a punishment to your son.' Sam said jokingly.

'We all know who is wearing the pants in that relationship' Wordy laughed.

'I am the one wearing.. I am' Ed interrupted with red cheeks, while everybody laughed loud. ' Oh.. forget it, Whatever. I should not have brought this up at all.' Then he turned his attention to Sam, looking stern. 'You are useless, you know that. You are suppose the be my second, which means you have my back. Saying this is not having my back, Sam! And you're late'

Sam laughed hard. 'Oh don't bring that crap. And I am not useless.'

'No, you could be used as a bad example' Wordy said, with made everybody laugh loud again, only now at Sam's shame.

'Ha ha, you are all so funny.'

'Don't take it so seriously Sam,' Jules said smiling.

(Flashpoint / Flashpoint / Flashpoint)

After training, laughing and discussing the entire morning. Greg decided that cleaning and doing paperwork was a nice way to spend the rest of the day. No hot Calls had came in yet and non off them were in the mood for some hard exercises, much to Ed's dismay. They drew straws about who could clean the gun range, which might be boring, but was much better than cleaning the floors or doing Paperwork. Sam won, by getting the longest straw and smiled brightly while walking to the gun range.

'It's not fair, Sam's always lucky. ' Leah stated sadly.

Wordy smiled at her exculpatory 'don't say that Leah, next time you might win.'

'No, Leah's right, Sam is always lucky. He gets Sierra one, all the time, he gets the nice chores and not to forget the nice lady's. By the way, he clearly is Ed's favourite.' Spike jumped in.

'He is not my favourite'

'Yeah, he is'

'No he's not'.

Ed and Spike started bugging each other, while they all walked towards Winnie's desk. They were surprised seeing Winnie talking to a young, quite handsome man. The man was leaning casually against the counter. Spike immediately Feld his cheeks go red from anger and jealousy for the way Winnie looked at the man, the way she smiled at him. Did she like him? Did she knew him? Were they together? He didn't think so, at least she didn't tell him that she had a boyfriend.

The young man, dressed in a simple outworn jeans en grey shirt, smiled back brightly, before going on with a story he was telling. His brown hair was a bit too long and curled around his slightly browned face. His nose was a little too big to fit perfectly in his face, but his clear green eyes compensated his big nose completely.

When the team, minus Sam, reached the desk, Winnie looked up, surprised.

'Who's this Winnie?' Greg asked, clearly wondering who this young man was and what he was doing at the SRU main desk.

'Ehm.. This is… ehm..' she stuttered. 'Actually I don't even know your name.' she giggled, which caused Spike to look at the guy annoyed.

The guy smiled at them, a perfect toothbrush smile, just like Sam's. 'I am sorry to bother all of you. I didn't try to keep this lovely young lady from working. I'm just her to find Sam, to talk to him, sir.'

This made the team smile. Just than they saw his strict attitude and manners. He most likely was a soldier.

'Sam is at the gun range at the moment.' Ed spoke wary.

'Thank you, sir.'

'We could go and get him if you want? Why are you looking for him. You're a friend?' Jules asked slightly suspicious.

'Yes, yes I am. We used to work together for a while. Back in Kandahar I mean. I haven't seen him way to long. Can't wait to see him again.' The smile that came on the young man's fast was one of the brightest the team ever saw. It wiped there worries away quickly.

'We'll get him in a minute. We're his team.' Greg smiled proudly.

'Really? Great, you all seem nice.'

'I'm Ed.' Ed said. 'I'm the team leader of team one. This is Greg, the sergeant, Leah, Wordy, Spike and our lovely Jules over there.'

The guy laughed at the face Jules made towards Ed. 'nice meeting you all.'

The guy smiled polite and nodded to them all, before making everybody's jaw drop.

'I'm Matt, Matthew Caleb Withlock'

The team stayed silent, shocked, while they could hear Sam slowly walking towards them.

….

Liked it? Hated it?

I btw know Wordy and Leah can't both be on the team, but I like them both, so in my world they can.

So, how do you all think Sam is going to react? I'll promise to update soon. Next chapter is going to be in Sam's view again.

Please Review! I Love Reviews. They make me really happy.

(I do have a question. I am looking for a story I once read. It is about Sam. The Father of Matt/Ben has Sam's father at gunpoint. Eventually The military top killed Matt/Ben. It was Sam's Father that gave the order. I loved the story but can't find it anymore. Do any of you know which one I am Talking about?)


	3. What? Why? Could dead people talk?

**Hey all, **

**Again I want to thank you all. I loved the reviews, they keep me writing. Thanks for sending me the right story. It was: The truth Hurts. And I found it **

**Were you already wondering how Sam will react? Well you can read it here! I found a BETA, but he can't start yet. Next chapter hopefully. Sorry for the mistakes, I really am doing my best. **

**I thought about making it smaller, but I decided that is mean so here it is completely. **

**I'll hope you enjoy! **

…**..**

Sam had a really big smile the moment he walked towards the gun range. He just loved the way Spike and Leah looked the moment he took the biggest straw. Always the winner, he was. He hated cleaning, hated doing paperwork. But at the moment he had took the best he could get. He liked this kind of days. The easiness. No worries, just training, talking, cleaning. No hot calls, no scared people, no killing psychopaths. Just relaxed work.

The moment he reached the range he remembered his bag was still in the training room. Damn. He wanted his phone and his earplugs. There was no way he was going to clean and sort the entire gun range without his music, he thought as he walked back towards the main hall.

Sam could hear the team talking to someone, but he didn't really care. He never had been the kind of person that wanted to know everything. Okay, maybe that wasn't quite true. He was that kind of person, he did wanted to know. Maybe he could eavesdrop just a little.

That moment he went around the corner he saw him, leaning against the counter talking to his team, saying his name. He looked relaxed, happy, full of live.

NO WAY, no freaking way. This wasn't possible, right? This couldn't be. There was just no way. Matt was dead, Matt was dead, right? He killed him, he freaking killed him, himself. He was the one that shot him, that killed him, that took his life. He was the one that killed his best friend. He buried him. He sat with his grave so many times.

So how was it possible that his dead best friend was standing right in front of him. He saw the team turn and stare at him, going out of his way. They looked shocked. Just like him, most likely. That moment Matt saw him, at least he thought it was Matt. He still wasn't really sure what was going on, at this moment.

'Hey' was al Matt said, he seemed a little nervous.

It talks? He talks? Did the rest hear this as well? Could dead people speak? Was even really talking to him? He wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure at all. Maybe he was hallucinating? Or dreaming or something. Yes that had to be it. This couldn't be real. Impossible. He pinched himself, hoping he would wake up. He didn't want to think about Matt, didn't wanted to dream about him. He pinched harder, but still didn't wake up. Why didn't he wake up?

'Sam?' Ed said softly, walking a bit closer to him, hoping Sam would say something. Sam started to walk slowly, closing into Matt, or whatever it was, or whoever he was. He kept pinching himself. Matt stood still, smiling brightly. He looked happy, intrigued.

That changed the moment Sam reached him and Sam brought up his fist. He hit Matt straight in the face. Matt's head slammed back hard and his knees immediately buckled, tumbling him to the ground. The team stood there in shock. Not knowing what to do. They hadn't known what to expect from Sam, but they surely didn't expect this.

The moment Matt buckled, Sam came out of his state of shock. What? No way, he thought again. His hands flew towards his mouth in panic. It wasn't a dream? No, no, it wasn't. Matt was really there, he really was alive. He just hit his best friend. He had expected Matt the disappear again, or that he would wake up or something. Or that his fist went right through Matt. He didn't expect he would really hit him. He is really here, alive. How? Why? What happened? OMG he just was really there. He really put his fist in his best friends face.

The team saw the panic in Sam's eyes, before Sam's eyes dropped to the ground. They saw he was confused, the saw his fear, his panic. Matt slowly came up again, rubbing his cheek painfully. But he didn't look shocked or scared or confused, he simply smiled. 'Damn Sam, was that necessary?'

That made Sam look up, he promptly turned around and ran away, leaving them behind. He ran towards the door. He had to get out of here. Had to leave. This couldn't be right, why would Matt still be alive? Why did Matt lie to him? Where had he been, what had he done? All those questions but no answers. Why? He wondered if he really wanted to know those answers. If he still wanted to know Matt. Yes of course he did. But not right now. He needed a minute to sort himself out, to be alone. Like he had been all this time.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

The team watched Sam run away. They all wondered if they should follow him or not. Wondered where he was going and what just happened. Matt looked shocked at first. Is eyes followed Sam towards the exit.

'Okay' Matt hesitantly spoke. 'I guess I should have seen that one coming.'

'You… You're…. You are… dead.' Jules spoke, still shocked and pale from Sam's reaction.

'I am? Ow damn, wish I knew that earlier. Well at least I still look pretty okay for a dead man, don't I? Matt said smiling while faking being shocked.

'How?' was all Spike said.

'Long story, they faked my dead, let's just keep it at that for this moment. I need to find Sam first.'

Matt started to walk towards the door, but turned around the moment someone spoke.

'We Greg spoke.

'Excuse me?' Matt asked.

'We, we need to find Sam, not just you. We're his team and he needs us.' Jules spoke as she also started to walk towards the exit.

'Why?'

'Because we care about him, we are the ones that have been with him the last three years. We supported him because you were supposed to be dead.' Ed said, clearly a little mad at Matt.

This was painful for Matt as well , he knew he had hurt Sam, but he had expected Sam would be happy. Yeah, shocked of course, but happy. Why wasn't he happy? The team minus Greg left a still shocked Winnie behind at the desk and walked towards the cars. Showing Matt the way.

'Winnie, try to give team three the hot calls. If necessary you can call me.' Greg told Winnie before going after the team.

'Where could he be?' Matt said, thinking out loud.

'I got an idea' Jules spoke as she got into her SUV. 'You're coming or what?'

Matt smiled a little, nodded and got in the car. Wordy and spike seated in the back, while Greg, Leah and Ed took another car.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

'I don't understand' Ed spoke softly.

'Me neither Ed, but for now let's just find Sam. Than this Matt-boy has a lot of explaining to do.'

'Especially to Sam' Ed growled.

'Yes' Greg agreed. 'Especially to Sam. '

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

The other car was quiet. Nobody spoke, but all thought. All wondered. All wanted answers.

'Where are we going?' Matt asked eventually.

'The cemetery.' Jules said harsh.

'Who is he looking for?' Matt wondered briefly.

'You.' Matts face shot up. 'He is looking for you.'

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

When they reached the cemetery, they found Sam quickly. He was sitting against a tree, close to a tombstone, staring. He looked tired, exhausted even. He most likely ran all the way here. But the team knew that wasn't the reason, he looked this way. It were the emotions. It were the thoughts, the guilt and the confusing things that happened.

Matt hated seeing the pain in Sam's eyes. Hated seeing Sam this way. He almost immediately ran towards him, but Ed stopped him. Taking his arm in his hands, pulling him back and keeping him in his place that way. 'Don't. Let one of us talk to him. I think he needs a moment away from you.'

'He ran away for a reason.' Wordy gave.

'Yeah, I guess… but… Alright.' Matt said softly and a little bit disappointed. He wanted to be with Sam, he missed him so much.

'Let me talk to him' Wordy softly said. 'Leave a car and go back. I'll bring him back.'

'I'm staying.' Ed simply said, leaving no place for an argument.

The rest nodded and walked back. Matt stayed. He didn't want to leave. He still wanted to go to Sam, but he knew that wouldn't be a smart thing to do.

'It's okay. You'll see him at the barn' Wordy smiled and Matt turned around slowly. Leaving the cemetery, and Sam again. It felt like he did something wrong.

Ed and wordy walked towards Sam, who was sitting in front of the tombstone. He didn't move when they sat next to him. Didn't even acknowledge them. This worried both Ed and Wordy.

'Sam?' wordy spoke softly. Sam didn't respond.

'Sam' Ed spoke a bit louder, it made Sam look at him.

'Hey' he said, the same thing Matt told him.

'You okay?'

'No, I don't think so.' Sam sighed deeply. 'I don't understand. I just don't.'

'He told us his death was faked.' Ed slowly spoke.

'I suppose it must be that way' Sam looked down again. 'I'm sorry.'

'For what?' Ed and Wordy both asked.

'I didn't mean to hit him, I really didn't. I just thought he was fake. That he was not there, I mean. I didn't mean to hurt him. He probably hates me now.' Sam confessed.

Sam clearly wasn't thinking straight. There was just no way Matt would be angry at him. From the way he looked he was more shocked and worried.

'Sam, he doesn't hate you.' Sam didn't respond. Wordy took his face in his hands and forced him to look at him. 'He is worried Sam, he wants to see you. He missed you, I think.'

'He isn't angry that you hit him. I think he expected it a little bit. He even smiled Sam. He was with us when we came here Sam.' This made Sam look around him shocked. He started panicking again.

'Hey, hey it's okay. He is back at the barn. You can see him when you want to. ' Sam calmed down.

'We could barely stop him.' Wordy said. 'He desperately wanted to go to you. He is worried. He wants the be with you. He cares, Sam.'

Sam looked towards the stone. He looked at the name.

_Matthew Caleb Whitlock  
1981 – 2009.  
A real Hero_

'You know how many times I came here? How many times I cried here?' Sam looked at them. 'So many times I sat here, hating myself. Crying, missing him so much. I was so angry at myself and wished everyday he hadn't died. That I didn't kill him. And now he is here. And I just don't understand. Why? Why would he pretend to be dead? Why would they make me think I killed him? Why did Matt leave me. Why did he leave me this way. With lies and pain. Didn't he care about me, about the way I felt? I missed him so much, but now I have him back, I am not sure If I can still trust him. Still love him. Is he even still my best friend? Would a best friend do such a thing?'

'Sam' Ed sighed. 'He looks like he loves you, likes he's happy to see you. I don't know why he pretended to be dead, I don't understand why they made you believe you shot him. I don't know. But don't you think you should give him a change to explain everything? To give you those answers? Then maybe you can decide if you will forgive him? If he still is your best friend. If he is still the old Matt.'

Sam nodded. Yeah, maybe he was right. He did want to know the answers.

'I'm happy he's still alive. That I didn't kill him.' Sam suddenly spoke.

'We know. Let's go back.'

Sam stood up and walked to the car with them. Yeah he really was happy. Confused, a bit angry, a bit hurt, but happy. Really really Happy. Matt was alive.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

Spike, Greg, Leah, Jules and Matt were in the briefing room, waiting. They all were seated, except for Matt. He stood by the window, watching the buildings around him. Thinking. Worrying. He knew he had to come clean. But why was Sam so angry? Or wasn't he? Maybe he was just shocked.

That moment he heard people enter the room. He turned around and immediately spotted Sam. Sam froze a moment, seeing him. Again Matt smiled, only this time a little less big. And put his arm a bit higher, just for sure.

'Sam' he whispered.

That moment Sam ran towards him. Put his arms up en slammed them around Matt's neck. Covering him in a big hug. Matt hugged him back. As tied as he could. 'Oh Sam.' He said when both their legs buckled and they suddenly were seated on the floor. Still holding each other. And Matt felt wetness in his neck. Tears falling from Sam's face. His own face was wet as well. That moment he realised not just Sam was crying, he was as well. The team stood around them, watching. The all wondered how this would go on.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

In a building across the SRU lay a man. Watching them every move through his scope.  
He took his phone and called. 'You were right, he is alive.' He said.

'Good.' The voice said. 'Start the plan. He will regret coming back.' And then he laughed.

…**.**

**I hoped you all liked it. **

**In the next chapter you will find why Matt pretended to be dead. And why Matt doesn't understand Sam is so angry. **

**I'll update soon. Pleasssssseeeee. Review! I love Reviews. **

**XX Nadya **


	4. he wanted that special answer!

**Hey all, **

**I am so sorry for updating this late. I had a really big project for school (I'm a student) and that had to be finished first. The chapter after this one will be there quick, might even in 2 or 3 days. **

**Well here is the next chapter. You might get some answers here? **

**Hope you all like it. **

**BTW: I loved the reviews, you are all amazing an I want to thank you all so much for taking the time to write and review. Big hugs to all of you. **

**Enjoy **** and it is long! **

…**.**

Sam didn't want to let go, he never wanted to let go again, he couldn't. He lost him once, before, but not anymore. It felt so good. Lying in his best friends arms. Holding him this way, made it real. This way he knew for sure that Matt wasn't dead, that he wasn't going away. It still was hard to believe, but it made him the happiest person in the world.

He did wanted answers whatsoever. He still couldn't understand. He needed a reason, needed a truth to explain why he had to go through all that pain the last three years. He needed to know why Matt was still alive.

He could see the rest of the team, standing, watching them. They clearly didn't know what to do, or to say. Sam wondered what they thought of all this. Thought of Matts return. Wear they happy, or didn't they care? Did they wanted answers to?

'We need to talk' he spoke softly after a moment. In the corner of his eye he saw the rest of the team nod. They agreed.

Matt sighed, not to deep, not annoyed, more relieved. 'I know, Sam, I know'.

Matt stood up slowly, not really wanted to let go of Sam either. I felt way to good.

'Can we talk here?' Matt asked. 'Yeah, it's safe.' Sam gave in return. Matt looked at him and smiled. Then he turned towards the team. 'And them?'

'Their safe to, I want them to hear it.. unless you don't. It depends on you.'

'I guess they can hear, it is not a secret or something. Just I don't know them, you know.'

Sam understood, Matt was his best friend, not theirs. He didn't knew them, didn't knew what kind of friends they were. The team helped him, saved him in some way. But Matt didn't know that. He probably didn't even knew that the team knew about him, about how Sam had killed him.

'Their fine, I trust them, with my live.' He said, smiling bright at his team, who smiled back proud.

Matt knew that face, he trusted Sam with his live, like Sam trusted him. Always had. If Sam trusted them, so could he.

'They helped me, you know. They helped me a lot.' Sam spoke, trying to comfort Matt.

'alright, it's okay. You can all stay.' Matt chuckled a bit when the team led out a relived sigh. They didn't wanted to leave. They wanted to hear the story, wanted to understand themselves why Matt or whoever made Sam believed he killed him. Why they caused his pain. Just why.

Matt walked towards a chair and sat down, Sam followed and seated himself next to his so long lost brother. The team took some of the other chairs. Jules next to Sam. Ed stood against the wall, while the rest of the team sat down. Matt stayed quiet for a while.

'Alright, talk, speak, explain?' surprisingly Wordy had said it. Matt looked up an nodded.

'Okay, maybe I should start at the beginning. Explain everything a bit.' Everybody nodded back.

'I joined the army when I was eighteen. Left the orphanage I lived in. my dad left my mum, mom died when I was 7. I kinda liked to army, especially JTF2. Don't get me wrong, I don't support war and I don't like killing people. But the friends, I loved them.'  
He smiled proud en happy towards Sam. ' I met Sam at JTF. We immediately became friends. Never stopped.' He sighed. 'one time, Sam wasn't with me on a mission. He went home because the general summoned him and I went on a mission with a part of the team. While walking through some small village we all spread, we never been in the village before. I was walking alone just clearing the area and looking around. Then I heard some voices, they were English which you barely hear over there. I walked closer, hearing some strange words.' Matt sighed.

'I heared a conversation I wasn't supposed to hear. I even tapped it. I used my phone. I recognised the voice.' Matt looked a bit ashamed.

'There is this corporation JTF works with. They supply us with guns. Special guns and other weapons. They guns are the best. The boss of the corporation is Maxwell Denzil, he used to be a soldier as well and a good friend of a lot of generals nowadays. This corporation delivers us guns, while the Military pays them, they pay a lot. At that time Denzil was planning an extremely big deal about a new gun they made. The deal of the century you could say. JTF was going to buy it. They were going to pay a lot of money for it.  
The people I heard talking were talking about a deal between this corporation and… ehm.. well let's just say a subgroup of al-Qaida.'

Sam looked up questioning. He was hurt and confused. He met Denzil. It was a nice guy and Sam found it hard to believe that he did something terrible. Couldn't believe he betrayed them. He wondered who Denzil was dealing with? Which terrorist it was.

'Kasif' Matt said. Sam knew Kasif, better than he wished he would. The Kasif group, were terrible. They killed everybody that was in there way, in terrible ways. They hated JTF and JTF hated them.

Damn, why? Why were they dealing with Kasif? Why did it have to be Kasif.

'They were planning on making a deal to, a lot of money they were talking about. It was about the Sam gun. Denzil and his company was going to make a lot of money from two teams. Two teams who were fighting against each other.  
I wrote every word down and tapped it all before I went back to camp after finishing the opp. In camp I went to the higher ups, the generals and such. I told them everything I heard and wrote down. He let them listen to my tapes. They were devastated, devastated and angry. Angry that their friend betrayed them in such a terrible way and just for the money.  
Of course the deal was off, they confronted Denzil, told him the agreement was over. They were planning on arresting him, but there wasn't enough prove yet so they had to set him free. The military hired another company. Meanwhile they slipped the information about Denzil towards Al qaida. Especially towards is a dirty trick, but they wanted payback. I guess you understand what happened.'

'Kasif cut their deal as well' Wordy spoke.

'Yes, exactly. Denzil lost a lot that week. Both his biggest clients were gone. He lost both deals and didn't get any off the money. He was angry, really really angry, so we heard. His company stopped, and he went off the grit. From some places we heard he wanted revenge. He wanted to kill the cause of this. He was going to be rich and I destroyed his entire imperium. He wanted revenge..on me. The price he put on my head was, well really big. Quite some people would kill for that amount of money, especially in that kind of places. The military decided I had to disappear. Disappear until Denzil was gone.'

He looked direct at Sam. 'I wasn't allowed to say goodbye. To protect you, to protect all of you. You all had to believe I was dead, that was the only way Denzil would believe it as well. So I died. But actually I went to a safe house.'

'you're body?' Sam asked a bit shocked and confused.

'Wasn't mine, apparently their wasn't much left. Just some parts. They went for DNA, the higher upps changed the name. The body was an young soldier, just as big as me. They took my clothes, my guns, my stuff, everything. Even my tags. Everybody thought I died, so I guess it worked.  
A few days ago they suddenly told me it was over. Denzil was killed by an enemy of his. It is a long story. It suddenly was over and I could get my life back. I went back to Kandahar, they were all happy, confused for sure and a bit angry. Micks even told me that if I would ever do it again, he would kill me for real.'

Sam laughed. He was sure that was real.

'I couldn't find you, than they told me you left. I said: no way. But you clearly did. So I immediately left and came here. Then I found you and you hit me in the face.' Matt laughed loudly.

The team was laughing to, but softer, still figuring it all out. Sam didn't laugh, he just looked. He looked at Matt, he wanted that other answer. He wanted the answer he been waiting for, why this way? Why him?

Matt saw his stare and became quiet. 'I am not angry, so don't be sorry.'

'You're not angry?' Sam asked shocked, and a bit angry,

'No, not at all.'

Sam jumped up. 'I think I had every right to beat you, didn't I? you are not angry? You? I think you should ask me, you should ask If I am angry? If I forgive you'

'You are angry? Because I died? I don't understand. Why should you be angry?' Matt asked. He didn't understand why Sam reacted this way. He had explained everything. It wasn't his fault.

'BECAUSE I'M THE ONE THAT KILLED YOU!' Sam screamed loudly. Matt looked up shocked.

'Wha..What?'

'I am the one that killed you. I shot you, my own best friend. Friendly fire. An accident, yeah definitely. But I still killed you. And WHY? WHY? Why would you make me believe that. Why would anybody want me to believe that.'

'I don't get it, you killed me?' Sam nodded, ashamed. 'That's not possible. They told me everybody thought I died from an attack. An attack by the enemy. Just another fallen soldier.'

Sam didn't look at him. He was standing now and walked towards the window. His teams eyes followed him. Hadn't Matt known? Why did they do it? Jules stood up, walked towards Sam and stroked his arm. Comforting him.

Matt saw the image , he couldn't believe it. Why did the military do this. Why in the world. They lied, they LIED! He ran to Sam and stood in front of him, holding his face in his hands.

'Sam?'

no reaction.

'Sam look at me'

Sam looked up a bit, staring in Matts eyes. Never had Matt seen such a look in his best friends eyes. And he knew it was his fault. He hated himself for a moment.

'I didn't knew. They lied to me as well. They told me it was just an normal attack. A normal soldier dead. If I would have known I wouldn't had let them do it. Never. I'm your best friend Sam! You are mine. I care so much about you. Do you really believe I would do such a thing to you? You know me Sam? Would I?'

Sam kept quiet but shook his head. No he didn't believe that, he couldn't. Matt wouldn't.  
Matt smiled and hugged him.

'I was so angry, so hurt. I couldn't believe I killed you. Everybody kept telling me it was an accident. That it wasn't my fault. But I.. I just couldn't believe that. I kept thinking, kept hating.' Sam looked Matt into his eyes again. 'I hated myself Matt, I hated myself so terrible much. I kept blaming myself, didn't believe I still had the right to live. I didn't wanted to. I wanted to be with you.'

'Even if you did kill me, if I really would be dead, it wasn't your fault. It never has been. I would be quite angry if I would see you on the other side that way, not cool.' Sam nodded. This was one of the only times he actually believed it wasn't his fault. If Matt told him himself.

'Why would they make me believe that?' Sam asked after a while.

'I don't know. They told me they had an opportunity to kill me, but it was by the enemy I'm sure. I.. it's… I just can't believe they did this. They will hear about this. But not now, I don't want to ruin a happy moment. Alright?' Sam nodded smiling.

'So let me introduce you to my team.' Sam looked proud, really proud.

'I already met them a little, but I would like to know more. Maybe we could have a moment together? A drink, a talk?'

'Of course' Sam spoke before turning towards his team. 'Do we need to work? Or..?' he asked.

Greg stepped forward and smiled. 'I think this is a special moment. I'll talk with Holleran. I think you can have a few days off.' He looked at Matt. 'But you better not disappear again mister Whitlock. Then we might have to kill you as well.'

'Never, never again.'

'Good' Greg and Sam spoke.

'I guess we will see you both soon, we would really like to get to know you better Matt.' Wordy told them.

'Same here' Matt said smiling.

'Maybe we can go for drinks soon?' Sam asked, and everybody said yes.

'Where do you want to go?' Matt asked.

'My home' Sam said.

'We'll see you later, Sam.' Wordy patted his shoulder. Jules hugged him tight and walked out of the room. The rest smiled at him, Spike waved a little, before following Jules as well.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

The team went back to doing there choirs, but they kept thinking about Sam and Matt.

Greg was happy. Just really happy. He had seen how hurt Sam had been. He always saw it. Now maybe that would disappear. He liked Matt, but his words had been the truth. Matt couldn't leave again, in any way. It would destroy Sam.

Ed liked Matt as well, he sounded fine and hurt. It explained a lot that he hadn't known that Sam killed him. Still Ed wanted to know who made Sam and the world believe it. He wanted a long an .. private.. talk with that guy.

Wordy was proud and relieved. He was relieved that Sam's pain would get better now. There had been moments he didn't believe Sam would make it through the pain and hurt. He had been afraid Sam couldn't forgive himself. He thought about it a lot. Now that was over.

Leah and Jules were both just happy. Still a bit confused but happy. They both wondered what Sam and Matt would be talking about. Especially Jules wondered.

Spike didn't like Matt a lot. He didn't knew why, but it felt like had just lost his best friend. That there was more to come and more to lose. He didn't like the feeling. But he couldn't stop it.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

Sam and Matt walked into Sam's apartment.

'Nice, no personal stuff as expected, but nice' Matt laughed.

'Oh shut up.' Sam couldn't believe how easy it was to live with Matt in his life again. So terrible easy. So amazingly easy

'I mean it, where are all the pictures? No but seriously tell me everything.'

Sam took a beer and gave one to Matt. Before letting himself fall on the couch. Matt joined him quickly.

'Alright. What do you want to know?' Sam asked.

'Everything, but start with that team of yours' Matt knew Sam loved them, he could see it. He knew Sam in and out. The way Sam had looked when he spoke about them, or looked at them. It said more than enough.

'Fine. Who first?' Sam wondered.

'You're boss of course, idiot.' Matt hit him softly at his temples.

'Alright. Well you've got the boss. Sergeant Gregory Parker, or just Greg. He is the one that does most of the negotiating.'

'Negotiation?'

'Yes, Matt! That is what we do' Sam laughed. 'In risky situations we come in and try to talk or negotiated the subject down. So nobody needs to get hurt. We save them.'

'Okay, cool' Matt spoke, not very convinced yet. 'He's any good?'

'Sarge is great, the best I've ever seen. He can talk almost everybody down. He always tries to help, never just judges. He is kind en great. Sometimes he is a bit like a shrink, which is kinda annoying, but he only does that to help you. He does cares way to much about everybody. But is a great leader, strict but nice and caring. He's great.' Sam spoke proudly.

'He seemed pretty cool, and nice.' Matt smiled back the way he had smiled. It made Sam look for a moment. Just thinking how lucky he was right now. 'who's next?' Matt asked taking Sam back to the normal world.

'Ehm.. Well, secondly you've got the team leader. That's the person that is in charge of all the tactical stuff. In team one this is Ed, Ed lane. The big, bald guy' He explained. 'Ed is a great leader too, very very strict, but always in your best interest. He cares but doesn't show it too often, but when he does, you feel like nothing can stop you and that he will always be there. He has en lovely wife, an teenage son en a little daughter.'

'Third, you've got wordy, Kevin Wordsworth. He is the dad of the team. At home he has 3 daughters and an amazing wife. He is the sweetest, kindest and bravest man I have ever seen. He is always there to calm you down, to talk with you. To tell you everything is going to be alright.'

'Then you've got Spike. Michelangelo Scarlatti. He is the genius. He is our computer and bomb guy you could say. But he knows a lot about.. well.. a lot. He is smart, funny and sometimes really annoying. He like you're little brother, annoys the crap out of you, but makes you happy all the time and you care extremely much about him. We used to have another guy in our team. Lew, but he died unfortunately. I don't really want to talk about that.' Matt nodded understandingly. 'Spike was his best friend and it was tough for him, we talked a lot those days. He is a great friend now, the best.'

'The ehm Leah, well Leah is Lewis his replacement. She is the long, dark girl. She is strong, young and brave. I don't know here extremely well, but I actually really like here. She is always fair and tells you the truth. But she is sweet as well.'

'Than last, but definitely not least you've got Jules.'

'Nice' matt Spoke.

'Yeah.. well… we kinda dated.'

Matt immediately putted his hands up. 'I understand, bro-code. All yours'  
Sam laughed hard but became a little sad afterwards.

'She is great. Just amazing. She is like the sun, always shining bright, bringing the best in people, she does a lot of negotiating but she is a great sniper to. Yeah seriously, she snipes like hell. She was the first woman in the SRU. She is special. Strong and sweet. Fight and peace. Love and hurt all in once. I liked here from the start. She just well.. rocks. We used to date.'

'She sounds great, and looks great. I mean .. ehm… wait, used to? As in not anymore?'

'Nope, were over, just friends now.'

'Why not? You dumped here? Not smart Sammy, she's a keeper. A fine lady that's a sniper, my my.'

'No, actually she dumped me. We weren't allowed to date and it became a choice between me and the job. Clearly the job won.' Sam said sadly.

'the bitch.'

'Matt, don't say that. I understand here choice. I couldn't leave the team either. And she is great all right?'

'Fine, still don't like it though. You deserve to be happy. People should think about you.'

'Well I got you for that now don't I?'

'Yes you do.'

Sam looked Matt in the eyes, this was nice, just talking telling Matt about his friends, about his live. Knowing he was there for real.

'I am so happy you are alive, you know that. Just.. so… so happy.' Sam Spoke honestly.

'I know, and I am extremely happy to be with you again. You're my best friend, you will always be. I missed you, ya know.'

Sam smiled and blushed. 'You're such a girl' he said to break the moment.

'Ow shut up.' Matt hit his head again.

'Can I stay here tonight by the way?' Matt asked. 'I don't really got a place to go to. And I don't want to leave.'

'You can stay as long as you want.' Sam smirked. 'But you get the couch.'

Matt sighed. 'Fine.' And he hit Sam for the third time.

'Know tell me more, friends, family, how you've got at the SRU, your house, your girlfriends. Especially the girl friends. Everything.'

'Okay, well. I think I tell you how my first day at the SRU went…'

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi nt) **

From a distant the sniper watched them. He followed them to this house, and quickly discovered who it belonged to. He took his phone out again and called.

'Yes?'

'I've found the house, what do you want me to do?'

'Wait. Just a little longer. He took everything away from me. Everything I cared about. Now I will do the same to him…'

….

**Tadaaaaa! Hope you all like it. **

**Next chapter will be about Matt and Sam, and maybe some things go wrong? Hihi. **

**He really hope you al enjoyed it. Pleassssee Review. **

**Greetz, **

**Nadya **


	5. talking stories

**Hey all, sorry couldn't do it in one day. But I am updating already. **

**I'm happy you all like the story and the updates. Thank you so much for the reviews. **

**Here is the next chapter: enjoy **

**(btw I don't own Flashpoint or anything) There will be some flashbacks here. They are written like this: **_**flashback. **_

**This is a long one. **

…**.**

Sam and Matt talked for hours, they couldn't stop. Matt wanted to know everything and Sam told him everything. Matt loved to hear the stories. He laughed at all Sam's mistakes and was proud of his actions.

'How's the general?' Matt asked.

Sam sighed en shrugged his shoulders. 'Well, pretty much the same, only angrier, more disappointed I suppose.'

'Because you left?'

'yeah, I haven't really talked to him since that moment. When I came back from Afghanistan I felt terrible. I went to see him, he summoned me….'

_Sam walked inside his father's office. Well father? His mind couldn't really call the man in front of him his father. Sam never had been allowed to call him 'dad' or 'father'. Just 'General'. His mind told him he was going to see the General, not his father. _

'_Samuel' the general simply stated, he didn't even looked up. _

'_You asked to see me?' Sam answered just as simple. He was already sad and a bit hurt, but he was getting better. He didn't wanted the general to make it worse. The general looked up now. _

'_Yes, I heard some vague rumour. I suppose it is not true?'_

'_What rumour are you talking about?' Sam asked casually, he already knew to answer. _

'_That you are leaving JTF2. Clearly fake I suppose?' _

'_No' Sam almost sighed out. _

'_No?' the general looked a bit shocked. 'explain?' _

'_I don't want to be a soldier anymore. I'm done with it' _

'_Done?' the general looked angry now. 'YOU ARE NOT DONE UNTILL I TELL YOU YOU ARE!' he screamed. _

_Sam looked at his feet. He didn't wanted to have this talk, he made his decision. His team agreed, well understood. He already signed the papers. It was done. He was done. _

'_I already resigned. Got a honourable discharge. What happened got me thinking. I don't want to kill anymore. I just want to change. I don't want to be a murderer anymore.' _

_An murderer, yes that was what he was. Everybody kept telling him he wasn't, but he was. He just was. He couldn't forgive himself what he did. He murdered his best friend. If he stayed in Afghanistan everything would remind him of Matt. Everything would remind him of what he did. He had to leave. _

'_no, you will do as I say. I shall resolve this. You are going back.' The general told him. _

'_No I won't. I will not do what you want anymore. I am your son, not your slave. I am leaving the army and there is nothing you could do about it.' Sam told him firmly and walked out the door. He could hear his father scream all the way to his car, but didn't care. He was done. _

'Nice, good for you Sam. You were right, you're not his slave.' Matt told him when he finished the memory. 'Never really liked him.'

'Who did?' Sam laughed. Matt laughed with him.

'How was it when I died?' Matt suddenly asked. Sam looked at him.

'Terrible.'

'I bet, but you shouldn't have blamed yourself.'

'I know that now' Sam said, 'But not back then, hell not even last week.'

Matt nodded. 'How you managed to continue ? to live again?' he asked.

'The military team in the beginning, after a while, when my time was up I left. But in the beginning I was extremely depressed. I didn't want to live.'

'Did you try..' Matt asked shocked.

'Yes, yes I did….'

_Sam looked at himself. Sitting in the barrack against the wall. Wearing his army clothes and a grey hoodie. In his hand was a picture of him and Matt. In his other hand was his gun. pointed at his heart. Sam didn't wanted to live anymore. Not after what happened. It was almost a week ago now. The funeral had been 5 days ago. He had been strong till now, but couldn't do it anymore. It was over for him. Maybe, just maybe, he could see Matt this way again. _

_He knew it was weak to kill himself. He knew he was an coward, but he didn't care. He simply didn't care. This was the only way, the quilt, the hatred, the memories and the pain could go away. He putted his finger on the trigger and he load the gun. He was ready. _

_The moment he closed his eyes and started to pull the trigger, the door opened. Sam froze, just like the person that walked in. _

'_Sam?' the person spoke. Damn from al people that could walk in, it had to be him. Dinger, or John Mitchels if you wanted to know. But nobody called him John. The only one that called him John was his mother. if other people called him John, they ended up with some broken bones, or worse.  
Sam had knew Dinger for a long time, from when they were children. Next to Matt, Dinger was one of his best friends. Dinger his father was the assistant of the General. When Sam lived on bases, Dinger mostly had lived there to. They were great friends. Sam met Matt when he was older, when he was already in the military. Somehow Sam and Matt immediately became friends. They met Nate not long later. The became the four musketeers. Four assassins in crime, the rest of the team called them. Ma, they did so many wrong things. _

'_Sam?' Dinger spoke again. Sam opened his eyes slowly. _

'_Go away Ding' _

'_No'_

'_Please Dinger, just go away.' Sam pleaded. _

'_Sam, don't do it, please, just don't' Dingers voice was panicked, scared. _

'_You don't understand dinger, I have to do this. I can't live this way.' _

'_Yeah you can. Please Sam, this isn't the way. Matt wouldn't want this.' Dinger immediately went for the causer of this moment. _

'_I killed him, Dinger. I am the one that murdered him. I don't understand why you can even look me in the eye.' Sam really didn't understand why they didn't hate him. _

'_Sam' Dinger sighed deep. 'We don't hate you, nor do we blame you. It was an accident, we know that, you just don't. you have to believe us Sam. I understand that you are sad, angry and at this moment you probably hate yourself, but this will only stay if you can't forgive yourself. I was an accident. It was an accident! Matt died, you didn't murder him. He just died. You can't do this Sam. Please don't. what am I supposed to do without you? Me, Nate and the rest of the team, what are we supposed to do without Matt and you. We can't lose you both. We already lost so much. We lost so many friends. We can't lose you to. Please. Please.' _

_Sam looked up, the tears falling from his eyes. During his talk Dinger had come closer. His hand was now on Sam's hand. Pushing it down slowly. _

'_Please, I'm here, I'll help you' That moment Dinger took the gun from his hands. Sam looked at him ashamed, but Dinger smiled slightly. Not long later the team walked in, they saw Sam crying and dinger holding his gun. They clearly putted one and two together and knew what had happened. They were a bit shocked first, but after that moment they didn't leave Sam alone anymore. Every night, every moment they were there. They saved his live._

Matt was happy Dinger saved Sam. He and Dinger were friends, not great friends, but they were still buddy's. When Matt met Sam, Sam was already friends with Dinger. But they weren't extremely tight. Just great friends. Not long later they met Nate and the others. They all became friends, but Matt and Sam became great friends. Matt was glad Sam had Dinger when he died.

'Dinger saved me, I would have done it.' Sam spoke a bit ashamed.

'I am happy Dinger was there. Really am.'

'Me to' Sam gave.

'And after that?' Matt asked.

'they all helped me, talked to me, mourned with me. They kept telling me they didn't blame me. That everything was going to be alright. They always been there for me.'

'But you still left?' Matt asked.

'Yeah, I did. After a while. I wasn't suicidal anymore. Not really, but I noticed I wanted to change. I didn't wanted to be a simple killer anymore. I wanted to help, or save people. Like the team saved me. I wanted to leave Afghanistan more than anything.'

'How did they respond when you left?'

'Alright, a bit shocked…'

_The team was in the barrack. They were talking, laughing. It had been four months, they had to move on. Sam had been with his CO. he had just told him he wanted to resign. His CO told him he understood. Everything was taken care of. _

_Sam only had to tell the team. He walked inside the barrack. _

'_Hey Sam!' _

'_Wolf!' someone howled. _

'_Hello to you to' _

_They all yelled at him. Wolf. Sam laughed. It had been his nickname for quite a while. Sam didn't knew when it had started. The reason according to the team was the fact that he could track a pray for days. And when he got them, he tore them to peaces. A wolf. Since they came up with that they started to howl like luniatics when he came in. they all did, except Matt. _

'_Hey all' Sam spoke. _

'_Where you been?' Micks asked. He was a bit the leader. Just a bit. Or so he believed. _

'_CO' Sam spoke. They all became quiet. _

'_why?' Dinger asked. _

_Sam sighed. He had to tell them. 'I… I resigned' They all looked at him shocked. _

'_What?' Nate asked. _

'_I resigned. I am leaving. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to kill anymore. I want to do something different. I want to make a difference. Don't get me wrong, I love you all. You are my best friends, but after… everything. I just want to leave.' _

_The team looked at him, they weren't pleased. But they did understood. Dinger stood up and sat beside him. Touching his arm. _

'_I understand' he spoke. 'I will miss you, though.' _

_The rest of the team agreed. _

'_Your dad will kill you.' Micks laughed. _

'_I don't care.' Sam slipped before he could stop it. _

_The team burst out laughing, clapping, screaming. _

'_finally' _

'_exactly' _

'_was about time.' _

_Sam laughed with them. He knew it was okay to leave know. The team supported him. _

'_I won't forget all of you, never will.' Sam told them. _

'_You better not.' Nate said. 'And we will call, and write and come by and.. and..' _

_Sam hugged all of them. They were great friends. _

'I expected that' Mat spoke honestly.

'Yeah I think I did too. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. I kept in touch with them. They know a lot about my work and all. Sometimes it's hard though. There always far away. I miss them, but the team here. They became my family not just my team. They're great as well.

'They miss you to, they told me. Dinger was a bit quiet you know, they all were. Now I think about it. They knew you believed you killed me, they didn't like it either, but they didn't say anything. I think they wanted you to get angry yourself. Get it all out there. And It would hurt me more.' Matt laughed sarcastically.

They talked a while longer, but Sam could see Matt was getting tired. He was tired as well. It had been a long day.

'I'll tell you more tomorrow, let's go to bed.' Sam said.

'Yep' Matt agreed.' But I want to know more. I missed so much. And I want to meet your team again.'

Sam agreed, he would call the team tomorrow. He got some blankets and putted them on the couch. 'sleep tight, Matt'

'Sleep tight, Sammy.'

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi ntflashpointflashpointflashp ointflashpointflashpointflas hpoint)**

The next morning Sam called Greg.

'Greg Parker'

'Hey boss, it's Sam.'

'Hey Sam! How are you?'

'Great, just great. I was wondering.. Matt would like to get to know all of you better. Maybe we all can have a drink tonight? The goose or something.'

Greg smiled, he liked to get to know Matt better as well. 'I think that would be great. I shall ask the team and get back to you'

'Great' Sam smiled before hanging up.

Greg walked towards the team, they were in the gym, training. Spike was telling a big story about,, well who knew?

'Sam called' Greg spoke, they all looked at him. 'He is doing great, Matt is great, they want to meet us tonight at the goose. Who's in?'

They all said yes, only Spike kept quiet.

'Spike?'

Spike sighed, 'Yeah I'm in.' He said. Greg looked at him, he wondered what was wrong.

Spike didn't know what was bothering him. He just didn't really like Matt, but didn't knew why. He still had to give Matt a change, he couldn't let Sam down. He would be there tonight.

(**flashpointflashpointflashpoi ntflashpointflashpointflashp ointflashpointflashpointflas hpoint**)

The evening came quickly. Sam and Matt had spent the entire day talking, walking en doing fun stuff. Sam had enjoyed it immensely. When they arrived at the Goose team one was already there.

'Hey guys!' Sam spoke.

'Hey' they all replied.

They talked for quite a while, Mostly Matt was telling stories about Sam and the team told more stories about themselves and Sam. This al to Sam's disgrace of course. Sam didn't really cared, okay maybe a little bit.

After an while Sam went to get another drink for himself, Matt and the team. Matt looked at him and said: 'After this one no more. I haven't drank in ages.'

'Why not?' Greg asked.

'Didn't really felt like it. I'm not a lonely drinker, I need people and fun to drink.' Matt told him.

'You can say that.' Sam said. 'He becomes real fun when he's drunk as well.' Sam laughed hard.

The team looked up smiling, they wanted to know more. But at that moment Matt jumped forward and putted his hands against Sam's lips. He kept Sam's mouth closed. Silencing him.

'Don't say it, don't you dare.' Matt spoke.

The team laughed hard. Now they really wanted to know the story. Sam struggled to get loose but didn't really succeed. Eventually Jules kicked Matt and he let go.

Matt gave Sam a dirty look. A daring look even. Sam knew he would be in trouble, but he didn't really care at the moment.

'There was this one time, Matt got really, terrible drunk. I left him alone for maybe an hour to… ehm.. well… to..ehm.. go somewhere.' The team smiled and chuckles. ' and when I came back he was gone. I found him after two hours singing, dancing and' Sam laughed. 'Striping in some club close by. Had to drag him home, because he liked it there way to much.'

The team laughed, Matt looked ashamed. 'You said you wouldn't tell.' Matt spoke.

'That's right.' Sam spoke innocent. 'the next day he wanted an serious talk about it and told me not to tell anyone.'

'What did you do?' Wordy asked.

'Of course told the entire team. We laughed for days. I even filmed it by the way, if you want to see it.'

Matt looked up shocked.

'You destroyed it. I saw you destroy it!' Matt almost screamed.

'I might have made an copy' Sam said sweetly.

'you didn't.'

'I did'

The team laughed when Matt gave Sam an destroying look. Sam looked at them scared and stated 'oho-oh'. The team laughed even harder when Sam suddenly ran away, outside, pleading not to kill him, Matt followed him, screaming he would kill him. Everybody's eyes in the Goose followed them outside.

**(flashpointflashpointflashpoi ntflashpointflashpointflashp ointflashpointflashpointflas hpoint)**

Sam ran fast, unfortunately Matt followed fast too. After a while Matt suddenly grabbed him and pulled him down. Matt smiled, proud of himself. Sam begged Matt with a laughing voice, not to kill him. Matt made an thinking face.

'hmm.. well alright then. For now. ' and then Matt let him go.

Sam laughed and they walked back slowly.

'I'm really sorry.' Sam told him.

'yeah right, I don't believe it for a second. But it's okay. I guess I can tell them about the night in Istanbul as well, what was her name again?'

Sam looked shocked. No way, 'Alissa' he spoke after a while.

'I wasn't talking about the girl, more about the venereal disease' matt spoke before running away just like Sam did moments before.

'Oh no,' Sam whispered. 'Matt! I won't show them the tape, please don't tell, please!' he screamed before running as well.

(**flashpointflashpointflashpoi ntflashpointflashpointflashp ointflashpointflashpointflas hpoint**)

A few days later Sam had to work again. Matt decided to pay him a visit after walking through town the entire morning.

Sam was at the showers, but the team welcomed him.

'Hey' Matt told them. 'What are you talking about?'

'Hockey, Leah spoke.

'Oh nice, I like hockey. What's your favourite team?'

(**flashpointflashpointflashpoi ntflashpointflashpointflashp ointflashpointflashpointflas hpoint**)

When Sam came back from the showers he noticed the team talking with Matt, he immediately became happy. Seeing Matt talking to his team. The people he cared about the most , all together.

Matt saw him and walked over to him.

'I'm sorry Sam, you can't stay here.' Matt told him.

Both Sam and the team looked at him shocked.

'What?' Sam asked.

'They are Leafs fans. LEAFS! I can't let you stay here. You might start thinking like them.' Matt spoke seriously. The team chuckled relieved.

'the leafs aren't that bad.' Sam told Matt.

Matt inhaled deeply, shocked. 'Oh god, it already started.'

Sam laughed hard and hit Matt against his head softly. 'Ow shut up.'

They talked for a while, and Matt was allowed to train with them. Spike was remarkable silent during the entire work out. Sam almost got a little worried. Matt was telling wordy about how he and Sam met and became friends. 'We were immediately best friends.' Before Spike suddenly spoke.

'Best friends huh? And still you left him all alone, believing you were dead, in a war zone. He was risking his life and you were sitting on your god damn but. Yeah. A real friend-move.'

The team, Sam and Matt looked at him in shock. Spike immediately left the room.

Shit shit Spike thought. He didn't wanted to say that. He didn't really meant it. What the hell was wrong with him. Why couldn't he act normal, think normal. He liked Matt, well kinda. It was just that since Matt was back, Sam hardly even spoke with him. What had he been, a backup? Nothing more? Just and back up friend until the real one would come back. It hurts, to believe that .

But he wasn't supposed to think like that. If you're an good friend, you are happy when you friend is happy. Sam was happy, but he wasn't. did that made him an bad friend?

He cared a lot about Sam. After Lew died they hung out together a lot…

_Spike looked across the room, he didn't wanted to think anymore. Didn't wanted to talk. He heard his mother talk to someone. Great. Another kind teammate that wanted to talk to him. When were they going to understand he just wanted to be alone. _

_To his own surprise it wasn't Ed, or Wordy or Jules, or the boss. No it was Sam. He hadn't expected that. _

_Still he didn't acknowledge Sam. He just kept staring. He was sick of all the helping talks. They all wanted to know his feelings. Wanted him to tell how he felt, what he was thinking. What the hell did they believe he was thinking about! _

_Sam looked at him for a moment and sat next to him on the ground. He didn't spoke. For nearly an hour neither of them spoke. They just stared. _

'_I don't want to talk.' Spike eventually said. _

'_Okay' Was Sam's simple reply. That was.. different. They all wanted him to talk. Sam didn't? _

'_Why are you here then?' Spike asked. _

'_To not talk' Sam said. _

_Spike became quiet again, he didn't really understood but he kind of liked not being alone at the moment. Not alone but not afraid that he had to speak his mind. _

_After twenty minutes Sam suddenly stood up. _

'_Let's do something stupid' Sam told him. _

_Spike looked at him surprised. 'What?' _

'_Let's do something stupid.' Sam told him again. _

'_Like?' great he only spoke –one-word-sentences know. _

'_I don't know.' Sam said. 'let's go bungee jumping, or lets dive from a cliff or something like that.' _

'_Alight' Spike said a bit confused, he didn't knew were this was going. Sam helped him up and those few days they did the stupidest things. Al dangerous and exhausting, but funny. Spike was having fun, a little bit. Until the fourth day Sam took him somewhere and he suddenly broke down. He was exhausted, both physically as emotionally. He let it all out. That moment Sam was there for him. He took care of Spike, hold him, hugged him, talked to him. Sam told about Matt and Spike told about Lew. After a while the pain Spike was feeling became less harsh, everything looked better. He had always been grateful for that moment. That moment that healed his wounds a little. Spike and Sam became great friends those days. _

Yeah great friends. But now it was like Spike didn't excited anymore. He sat down in the dressing room. Leaning against his locker.

A few moments later Sam walked him. He had been looking for Spike.

'Hey' Sam spoke.

'Hey' Spike replied.

Sam sat next to him. Relieved to have found his friend. 'What's wrong Spike?' he asked.

'Nothing's wrong Sam.'

'Don't lie to me Spike, just don't. I hate lies. Just tell me. Did I do something wrong? Did Matt do something wrong?'

'No!' Spike almost screamed the word. 'Sorry, it's just… nothing's wrong with you or Matt. There is something wrong with me.'

'I don't understand.'

Spike sighed deeply. Maybe he just had to come clean. 'I am an terrible friend.' He said. Sam wanted to interrupt but Spike told him not to. 'Wait. Sam we are really good friends, right' he didn't wait for an answer. ' and If you're an friend you are happy when your friend is happy. And that is the problem. You are so happy, because you got back Matt, and all I can think about is me being jealous that he gets all the attention. That you barely talk to me, that we haven't done anything fun together the last few days. I am f***king jealous of Matt and angry at him, when I am supposed to be happy for you.' He sighed even deeper. 'And maybe, maybe I am a bit jealous too, that you got your best friend back and I didn't. Maybe I just miss Lew a bit more these days. I feels like I lost you both.'

Sam looked him in the eyes. 'I am sorry Spike. No wait! I am sorry. You are right, I have barely talked to you. I was just so busy and happy and all. I should have known you missed Lew more. I shouldn't have given Matt all my attention. I was just happy. I wish Lew could come back as well, but he can't. I miss him too. But Spike, you will not lose me. Never. please forgive me my behaviour. I will forgive you yours. And we will do more things. You know what, why don't you come by my house tonight. Hang out with me and Matt. Bring your PS3 or something and kick our asses. I would love it if my two best friends would become friends. Alright?'

Spike nodded and smiled. Maybe he had been wrong. He wouldn't lose Sam. Matt seemed nice. Yes, it would be great to hang out together. Still the feeling like he could lose Sam wasn't gone. He didn't know why.

(**flashpointflashpointflashpoi ntflashpointflashpointflashp ointflashpointflashpointflas hpoint**)

the days ended quickly. Spike and Matt did became friends, the Team liked Matt a lot and Matt liked them. He understood why they were Sam's family. Every free time was spend together or with spike and the team. Matt used his spare time to think about what he wanted to do with his live. Did he still wanted to be a soldier? Or not? He still wanted to know why they lied to him and why they told Sam the terrible lie as well. He didn't found much answers.

The sniper kept watching them. He had his orders, he knew what to do. He just waited for the opportunity until he found it. He sneaked forwards towards the man. In his hands he had a needle. An anaesthetic, so the man couldn't fight him.

He succeeded and when the young man lay in the snipers car he called his boss.

'It's done.' He said.

…

**Owwww.. you liked it? Hated it? Please tell. **

**I always believed Sam kept in touch with his friend in the army. I imagined them. I wondered if I should get them more in this story. What do all of you think? Please share your opinion in a review. **

**Who have they taken btw? Please review, I still love reviews. **

**Next chapter will come soon. **

**OW, before I forget. I've got a challenge: **

**Who knows a good reason why the military told Sam he killed Matt, and told Matt that he died from an enemy attack?**

**I will use the best idea in the story! So please tell me in the reviews. **

**Loves, Nadya **


	6. great, just great!

**Hey all, **

**I am so sorry for my late reaction. I had really big tests en had to learn. My test are over for a while now, so an new update will come quickly. Btw thanks for the lovely reviews. I still love them. **

**But here is a new chapter and another will follow soon. I am really for any mistakes. This time the are all mine. **

**I do not own flashpoint. **

**WARNING: this chapter is quit painful. You are warned. **

**Enjoy ;) **

…**.**

Matt was sleeping on the couch, well not really sleeping, more dozing. He didn't really had something to do, and didn't want to do anything neither. Sam would be home any moment. He had to work, but he promised they would go bungee jumping. Matt loved bungee jumping. He loved everything that was dangerous and exciting. When he and Sam had still been in JTF2 they went doing stupid things every time they were home.

Sam had an night shift and would be back at morning. Matt looked up from his doze and watched the clock. It was already getting late. Sam had told he would be back around 9, but it was almost 11 already. Hmm. Matt thought. Maybe they had an call. Sam told him that could happen.

Still Matt had an strange feeling in his stomach. Even though it was probably nothing he couldn't get rid of that terrible feeling. He decided to call Sam, but when he called, Sam's phone went straight to voicemail. Strange….

Maybe he could call Spike? In the last few days he, Sam and Spike had been together quite a lot. He liked Spike a lot, he was a great friend to him and to Sam.

'Spike' spike picked up the phone immediately.

'Hey Spike it's Matt.'

'Het Matt, how's the bungee jumping. Sam asked me to come, but I am not really into… such heights.'

Matt laughed. 'Well, we haven't left yet, Sam isn't home yet. How late do you think he will be here. He doesn't answer his phone?'

Spike staid quiet for quite a while. 'He isn't home yet?' Spike asked.

'Nope'

'but.. he left over 2 hours ago.' Spike told him. 'Me and the rest of the team went to get breakfast, but he went home to you.'

'He never came here and I can't reach him.' Matt started to panic. Something was wrong, really, really wrong.

'Okay don't panic, I'll get the team and coming to you. You keep trying to reach Sam alright?' Spike sounded a bit panicked as well.

'Yeah, yeah okay.' Matt spoke before hanging up. He tried to call Sam several times, but there had been no respond. Matt couldn't stop himself from panicking anymore.

…..

Sam felt like he was under water. He could barely breath and it felt like something or someone was pushing on his head and chest. Everything felt sore and tight. Hurt. It took a moment before Sam realised that everything was dark. He couldn't see a thing. He tried to move, to turn his body and arms, but it made his sore body hurt even more. He was tied up. He could feel he was sitting in a chair. His arms and legs were cuffed and tight to it.

'Ah I see you are waking up.' A voice suddenly spoke.

Sam tried to look up, to find the source of the voice. He couldn't really find it and just moved his head around. Suddenly a hand hit him in the face, before grabbing his cheeks and pointing it the right way. The voice laughed.

'Sorry for the blindfold. You just never know with special forces guys. Don't want you on my back. ' he laughed again. 'But If you promise to be a good boy I'll put it off. Can you be a good boy?'

Sam hated this guy already. Not only for kidnapping him and keeping him tied up and blind, but also for embarrassing him this way, demanding him to do things.

Still Sam knew that having his eyes back was important. It might give him a chance of escaping, or at least seeing where he was. So he nodded slowly. The voice laughed again.

'Good' he said before Sam felt him take away his blindfold. The man was standing in front of Sam, as Sam slowly opened his eyes. Adjusting to the bright lights in front of him. When he could finally look up the man hit him in the face again, and laughed once more.

'Who are you?' Sam asked, as he looked around. He was in a shed. He could see the wooden walls. He all looked dark, except for the bright, big lights in front of him. Sam was seated at a stool. The room was empty except for the chair, the lights and a small camera, right in front of Sam. 'Where am i?'

The man looked at him. 'You don't really need to know. Just know I took you, that you can't escape and that I hate cops. Soon my boss will come and get you, and then I am finally released of your stupid face.'

Great Sam thought. Just great.

'Why? Why am I here?' Sam asked.

'Because you deserve it.' The man simply stated.

'Let me guess, you're not important enough to know?' Sam asked him, but he immediately knew it wasn't a good choice of words, as the man walked dangerous close at him.

'I don't know, because I don't want to know. My job was the take you and to wait for my boss to come and get you. That's all I need to know. But just because I don't know, doesn't mean I won't hurt you.' The man told him before taking his arm in his hands. Sam knew what was coming and closed his eyes. The man pulled his arm up and made a strange move. Making Sam's shoulder pop out of his socked. Sam didn't scream. He refused. He wasn't going to give this man the satisfaction.

Still the man could see the pain on Sam's face. HE had to see it, because Sam couldn't stop the terrible pain coming from his shoulder. It burned, it was a throbbing pain going trough his entire arm. Through his entire body. The man laughed. Creep. Sam thought. Between small gaspes of pain.

'You deserved that to. Guess you didn't like it? Don't worry, my boss will be here soon and when he has you, you will be begging to get me back.'

…

The team watched Spikes face get pale while talking in his phone. There talks stopped and the looked at him. Waiting for him to finish. When they heard him tell someone not to panic, saying he would crap the team, they got worried.

'What's wrong, Spike?' Ed asked the moment Spike closed his phone. Spike didn't really respond. He couldn't really say it. His mind was going in circles, trying to find ways to find Sam, to solve this.

'Spike?' the boss asked a bit worried.

'Sam..' Spike spoke. That made the team look at him even more worried.

'What's with Sam?' Jules asked quickly. She moved forward, closing in on Spike. 'Spike! What's wrong with Sam?' she asked loudly.

Spike looked her in the eye. 'He never came home' he slowly spoke.

A bunch of 'Whats?' 'Hows!' and 'What do you means?' were spoken, but the boss cut them off. 'Quiet' he said.

'Spike what do you mean? Where is Sam?'

'I mean' Spike spoke impatient, he wanted to go look for Sam. 'That I was just talking with Matt and he told me Sam didn't made it back home. But he left over 2 hours ago. Matt and I don't know where he is.'

'Maybe he went to see someone?' wordy said, but they all knew Sam would have called.

'He had an appointment' Jules spoke. 'He was going to bungee jump with Matt. He wouldn't just go somewhere else.'

'Accident?' Leah dropped in.

'Maybe' the boss nodded. 'Let's find out, but don't freak out just yet. Maybe nothing special happened. He could have fell asleep, or had an little accident and forget to call. Maybe he lost his phone, that wouldn't be the first time. Come one team let's go, let's start looking. Spike you and Wordy go get Matt, The rest of us goes back to HQ and we will start calling hospitals and 911. Maybe we'll find Sam that way.'

The team nodded, but Ed spoke up. 'Maybe I should drive the way Sam would have driven. You never know?'

'Good idea' Greg spoke. 'Let's go team, let's find Sam. '

…

Sam's shoulder was burning like crazy. It was driving him maid. He tried not to think about it, not to feel it, but for now it didn't really worked. When he was with JTF2 he did learn how to control pain a little, but at this very moment, when it was all real and scary, he just couldn't get himself to calm down.

The man in front of him was pacing slowly around the room. He walked from one site of the room to another. Left and right, just walking. And every time he came in a corner he looked at Sam with those angry eyes. Sam looked him in the eye, angry as well.

'Don't look' the man spit at him, drawing his face back to the floor.

Sam thought about a way to escape, to get himself out of this mess. The man in front of him didn't really look like someone he could talk out of this. The last conversation made that point pretty clear anyway.

'I need to go to the bathroom' Sam eventually spoke.

'Hold it.'

'I can't'

'Hold it.' The man became a little annoyed.

'I told you I can't. I really need to go. Or do you want me to go right in front of you?'

'I don't give a damn' the man spoke, but Sam could see hesitation.

'Alright' Sam spoke. 'Than I guess I'll just do that. Bur you are the one that has to be in the same room with me.'

'Fine' the man crumbled. 'if you'll be a good boy you can go outside. But you're handcuffs won't come off. Just so you know. I am not an idiot. I shall stay with you.'

Great Sam thought again. Pervert. It was an good thing he didn't really needed to use the toilet. Would like this creep to watch him if he did.

The man came close to him. He stood behind Sam and putted the blindfold around his head again, Sam made his head big. He also printed everything of the room in his head. Every ankle, every position the man could or would be in. After that the man released Sam's hand from the chair, still keeping them together with the handcuffs. Sam could feel the man stand up and move in front of him. Planning on releasing Sam's feet. This was a stupid move.

At the precise moment the man was sitting in front of him and released Sam's feed, Sam jumped forward, bumping his right foot in the man's face. The man went down from the impact, and Sam gave him and extra kick to keep him down. After that Sam shook hard with his head, making the blindfold loose and fall off. The man was lying on the floor, a bit shocked and very much hurt. His nose was clearly broken, and blood was all around his face. Sam sat next to him, really, really close.

'Idiot, I don't need my hands to get you down' Sam proudly spoke before standing up and hitting the man's head hard. Knocking him out conscious.

Smiling brightly Sam walked towards the door, planning on leaving and going home.

…

Ed didn't ran into Sam, Sam wasn't in any off the hospitals en no one had seen his car. The team had done nothing to find or possibly help Sam and they started to grow anxious, worried.

Spike and Wordy drove towards Sam's house quickly. Both were quiet, just thinking and worrying in their own mind. Spike was driving, but Wordy could see his hands shake a little bit.

'I'm sure Sam's fine.' The told Spike, tough he wasn't convinced. Spike just nodded.

When they reached Sam's house they saw Matt standing in front of the door.

'Anything?' Spike asked. Matt shook his head.

'He tried to call him a hundred times, he doesn't pick up and de line is dead. Just nothing.'

Wordy saw the pain, panic and fear on the young boys face. He pitied him, but knew his face was most likely the same.

'Let's go to the station, maybe we can find him there?' Wordy tried, and both Matt and Spike nodded.

'You think something happened?' Matt asked after an while.

'I don't know?' wordy said. 'Maybe it's nothing.' As long as he kept saying it, he could still believe it.

'Yeah maybe… ' Matt said softly.

…

Sam walked out of the shee only to find out he was in an forest. Everything he could see around him was woods, only one small road went in to the forest. This really wasn't his day, Sam sighed. He thought of his options. He could follow the road and try to find help that way, but the man had told him his boss was coming. The odds were big he would run into them.

Another option was going through the woods. Just keep walking until he found someone. That didn't sound smart neither, he had an dislocated arm, a painful head and bounded hands. Still this might be smarter than walking into someone that will bring him right back here.

Sam decided to take the woods, but first he had to try and find something to cut the handcuffs. He walked around the shed, but couldn't find anything. He wondered a moment what happened to his car. Maybe it was still around, maybe he could use it? He started walking and searching faster. There had to be something. That moment he saw something shining. He walked closer, trying to see if it was what he was looking for.

When suddenly he felt a shockwave go through his body. A Taser. He couldn't help but fall to the ground. Above him stood an older man, looking a bit angry, a bit amused.

'Don't want you to leave now do we?' he asked, before heating Sam's head, making darkness take him over.

….

At HQ the entire team and Matt where trying to find a way to find Sam. They were looking through files, seeing if maybe it was an old victim or old subject that took Sam. Jules was still calling with some hospitals and Ed spoke with the local police station. Spike tried to trace Sam's phone but unfortunately he couldn't. Sam's phone had been switched off. They had even called Natalie, Sam's Parents (he couldn't pick up) and some off Sam's friends.

About un half hour later a shocked Winnie walked in. She looked at all of them.

'I got someone on the line, he says he knows where Sam is. He wants to talk to you, Matt. He wants to talk to a Matthew Caleb Whitlock.'

Matt nodded, and the boss told him to put it on speaker. Spike ran towards his computer trying to locate and trace the call.

'Hello?' Matt spoke.

'Matthew Caleb Whitlock' The voice simply said. The voice sounded distorted.

'Yes.'

'Ahh, good. Nice to finally chat.'

'Where is Sam?'

'Sam? Oh, right you friend, well at this very moment I am enjoying his pleasant company. You want to hear?' Before Matt could reacted to heard Sam scream. That an little scream, but an harsh, painful scream. It made all of their blood boil.

'You see..' the voice spoke after a moment.

'you son of a..'

'Well well, don't start with that now.'

'Where's Sam and why are you keeping him. What do you want?'

'What do I want? Hmm.. I want the both of you to suffer.' They could hear Sam scream again. 'Now, if you go to Sam's email you will find an link, that will make my message clearer.'

The line went dead.

'Spike?' Ed asked.

'it was to short. I got an area. Close by the Claywather Woods. That's an big area, but at least it's something.'

The boss nodded. He told Winnie to send unis to start looking right away. They needed to see that email first.

Spike had opened Sam's email rather quickly and found the link. It was simply called: suffer? Here is the message.

Spike opened the file, and immediately he started looking for a way to find this guy trough this link. What was happening on screen stopped him rather quickly.

The link directed them to a movie screen. A grey flack came in view, with the words: Suffer animation. It slowly disappeared and they could see Sam, tied to a chair, both legs and arm tied up. His looked at the camera a bit confused, most likely wondering who was seeing it.

Matt looked closely. Sam didn't look terrible, though is shoulder looked rather swollen. His face was a bit grim but fine. His arm on the other hand looked terrible. They were full of cuts and scrapes. He knew the entire team was looking at them.

That moment an man came in to view. When he started talking, the team knew it was the same man from the phone call. He was wearing an dark hoodie, sunglasses and an cloth in front of his mouth.

'I see you opened the link, how nice. Now let the fun begin, shall we?'

He walked closer towards Sam and the camera followed. Someone was clearly holding it.

'Let me tell you all a little story. You see, I let Sammy here get taken by someone. He kept Sam here but was a bit silly.' The man spoke In an child's voice. 'he released Sammy's feet and Sammy hit the man really hard. This wasn't very nice you see. The man was lying on the ground and Sammy went outside, even though he wasn't allowed to. He went outside and tried to go away, but how fortunate, I found him, hit him and took him back in here.' The man sighed deeply. 'it wasn't nice of Sammy to leave and hit my worker. So he needs to be punished for that.'

The man walked out of view and the team Saw two man walk over to Sam. Sam looked a bit afraid, but he looked more confused. To the teams eye he had been punished enough. The man that was clearly in charge came back in the camera's view. Did any of you ever make crème brulee? It is a delicious dessert with caramelized sugar. You know how they make this sugar? The use an fire chip, an burner. The burn the sugar a bit and that makes it delicious.'

The man putted his hands up and showed them to burner. Both the team and Sam looked scared and shocked now.

'Since Sammy here wasn't nice and tried to run away I have to punish him. I think this might be the right way. Take his right foot.' He demanded to his co-workers. The released Sam's right foot and hold it tight. Sam tried to fight, but he just couldn't do anything. They hit Sam in the face for fighting and lifted the foot.

'You see Sammy, this way you get your punishment and it will be harder to run away in the future.' He smiled. 'Let's begin.'

They took Sam's shoe and sock away, holding his feet up and bare. The leader walked over to Sam and putted the burner on. An small, blue fire came out. The team wanted to scream, Matt wanted to scream, but there was nothing they could do. The leader looked at the camera for an moment and smiled. After which he hold the burner close to Sam's foot.

Sam screamed, he screamed like hell when the fire hit him. He could feel the underside of his foot burn. He could feel it grow thick and scream and hurt of the terrible flame. The team watched as Sam screamed, quickly noticing they were screaming a little to. Jules was holding her hands in front of her eyes. Leah was crying. Matt could only watch and scream.

When the leader took the burner away for an moment, Sam nearly fell forward. Both man pushed him back.

'Now the other one.' The leader spoke happy. He seemed to enjoy himself greatly. Sam's left food was now released and they took away his shoe and sock again, before burning this foot as well. Sam screamed even louder this time. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't keep it in. it was too bad, the pain was too harsh.

The moment the leader let go of Sam's left food, the screen went black.

'More fun in an hour' they could here.

…..

Sam didn't listen what happened. He just focused on his pain. On his feet. There was no way he could walk now.

The man took the camera away an walked close to Sam. 'You deserved that, and you know it.' He told him. Creep, Asshole. Sam thought. He opened his eyes and looked the man in the eye.

'It will get better after a while, but for now you won't be able to walk away don't you.' He smiled again. Sam got angry, really angry, why was this happening? Why? He spit in the creeps face.

Only an second later an fist hit his jaw. His head slammed back and he felt dizzy for a moment.

'Were leaving' the creep told the group. 'they are not allowed to find you.' He blindfolded Sam and to man started to drag Sam out of the shed. Hurting his injured feet even more. Sam could feel himself being dropped in an van. The creep suddenly was next to him. Holding his face.

'In an hour I'll punish you for spiting. We aren't finished yet. Not at all. By the end you will back me to kill you. Hell only just begun.'

….

**And? What do you think? Is it good? Bad? **

**Pleasseeeee review! **

**In the next chapter I want to show the emotions of the team a little more. There will be Sam pain and Matt of course, but whish character of team do all of you want me to show his emotions? **

**Greg? Ed? LEAh? Jules? Wordy? Spike? **

**Please pick and tell me. I will bring them in. **

**Update will come really quick. Maybe even Sunday. (tomorrow I'll go to Disneyland in Paris so I won't be able to write, sorry ****) **

**Lots of hugs, **

**Nadya. **


	7. Nothing

**Hey all, I hoped you like the story so far? I really loved the reviews. Thank you for telling me. **

**I noticed there were a lot of people I had to tell about, so I decided to grant you're wishes and show them all. So here do they come. **

**I do not own Flashpoint (I wish) **

**WARNING: there is going to be a lot of pain again. **

**Enjoy ;) **

…**. **

Pain.

Screams.

Hurt.

Pain.

So much pain.

Sam couldn't believe how much it hurted.

The moment the creep shut the camera down Sam looked up at him. His feet were hurting terrible. His feet were hurt so unbelievably bad. His f…king feet. How could he walk now? How could he work? How? His voice was raw because of the screaming. He felt warm and cold at the same time. Everything was a little blurry. He felt terrible.

The creep looked down at Sam.

'Well that was fun, wasn't it.' Sam wanted to spit in his face.

The creep chuckled a bit. 'Don't worry we shall have more fun, and your feet will heal, just not now.' He turned towards his workers. 'Crab the stuff, were leaving in a minute. Don't want them to track us, do we?'

Sam understood why he wanted to leave, Spike probably could trace the call. They might were able the find him.

'Where are we going? Who are you? Why am I here?' Sam asked a lot of questions. He knew there probably weren't going to be any answers, but still.

The creep looked down at him, while one of his workers stood beside Sam.

'I am the master, but for now you may call me Nathan. We are going to a safer place where we will torture you again, only this time it will be worse.' Nathan Smiled. 'You are here because I want you to be here and because I want you and your friend to be in pain. That's all you need to know.'

Nathan nodded towards his worker who stood behind Sam now. 'Take him with. Keep his eyes closed and his feet and hands locked. You don't want him to fight, understood?'

Sam guessed the man behind him nodded. Not long later Sam's vision became black, when a blindfold was once again knitted around his head. His hands were loosened from the chair but were still tight together. Sam's feet were tight together as well. Sam didn't understood how he was going to leave. His feet were hurting terribly. There was no way he could walk. Apparently the workers noticed the same thing, because Sam could feel himself being lifted by at least two people. They dragged Sam forward, out of the shed and into the open. Fortunately the underside of Sam's feet didn't touched the ground, but Sam's toes scraped the harsh and rough ground. Sam could feel that the tops of his toes started to bleed and rand. He hissed, but his carriers didn't seem to care. They even chuckled for a moment.

Sam could feel himself being thrown into a car, or more likely a van. He was tied to a beam and Sam could feel people sitting around him. He tried to keep his feet op high, but after a view minutes this became heavier and heavier. Sam knew he couldn't keep them up.

He thought a moment about the amount of shit he was in momentarily. He was bound in a van, going to a place he didn't knew. He didn't had the change to leave anything for his team, nor had he been able to leave a message or a tip to comprehend his saving. He was tortured , the underside of his feet were momentarily ruined and hurt like hell, and he knew he was going to be tortured again which would only be worse. His arm was unpopped and were hurting badly. It was swelling. And last he was hold by someone which only intension was to heard him and Matt. There was no negotiating out of this.

Damn. Just Damn.

….

Greg looked at the screen. 'Spike can you track where the film is coming from, who's computer?'

'I'm trying, but they are good boss, really good. This might take a while.'

That moment Winnie walked in. 'The local police are looking in the woods, but it is a big area. It might take a while.'

'Damnit' Greg almost screamed. Not only Winnie, but the entire team looked up shocked. Greg knew he had to stay calm. He had to be calm for his team, for Sam. But at this very moment that became more and more hard. They had no idea where Sam was, nor did any of the clues work out at the moment en momentary Sam was being tortured, and there was nothing they could do about it.

He hated feeling so useless, feeling like there was nothing he could do, like there was no chance to find Sam, nor save him. He knew they couldn't give up, they wouldn't. That had to find Sam, but this man was good, too good. He didn't really left any traces, and he didn't talk to Greg himself. He only talked to Matt. One that wasn't trained in negotiating and one that only thought out of friendship and care, not out of logical thinking.

Greg looked around the room, They were all trying, desperately to find Sam. They simply had to. They couldn't go on without him. Hell Matt would want to go on without Sam. He just had him back.

To needed to find Sam, fast.

'I can't trace it boss, there switching constantly from browser and IP-address. The moment I find them, there already somewhere else or pretending to be someone else. It will be no use.' Spike spoke sadly.

Greg nodded, the needed to find something else. Damnit, Sam was his responsibility, his worker. He had to do the best he could to save one of his own.

'Alright guys' Greg almost had to scream. 'We need to keep going, we need a new lead. Anybody?'

'We could watch the tape again, maybe we can find a lead in that? Or maybe we can find out who this asshole is.' Spike gave in.

'Sam went home by car. Maybe we can find it and get a lead that way? ' Jules said.

'Yeah, and we need to find that place, that shed, I doubt they stayed there, but maybe we could find another lead.' Wordy told them.

'Yes that's good. Spike, you and Leah watch the tapes, try and find something, anything. Ed you and Jules find Sam's car. Find a way. Wordy call the local cops, find that house, use the information from Spike and Leah. Matt' Matt looked at him shocked, he was still staring at the blank screen.

'Yes?'

'You and I are going to have a talk. Maybe we can find who this guy is, why he took Sam and why he hates you so much.'

Matt nodded and Greg looked at his Team.

'We are going to find Sam, understood?'

A few 'Yes' and 'We wills' were heard.

'Good, now go!'

…

Spike and Leah stationed themselves in front of the screen and the computers.

'Alright, start the tape' Leah spoke.

Spike doubted. He had seen the tape already, just a few minutes ago, and at the moment he didn't know if he could see them again. He cared about Sam, he cared about Sam like a brother. Sam was almost his brother, and it had hurt him more than anything to see Sam in so much pain.

Sam's feet were destroyed at this moment. Spike couldn't know in how much pain and fear Sam should be right now. What those creeps were doing to him at this very moment.

The leader had called Matt, he had blamed Matt. Was this Matt fault? Spike couldn't think that. He couldn't believe that. Matt loved Sam. He was his best friend, he wouldn't call this on Sam. But still the leader wanted to hurt Matt, he only used Sam for that cause. That didn't made it Matts fault. Right? Or did he hate Sam as well? Did he also want to kill Matt? Was it just an coincidence? Spike didn't knew.

'Spike?' Leah asked, getting Spike back to real life.

'Yeah sorry' He said.

'We will find Sam, I'm sure we will!' Leah told him, and patted his shoulder.

'I know we will, I just hope we will be on time' He sighed, and even Leah looked a little sad.

Spike looked at the screen and opened the tape. He had recorded it when it was playing.

'Ready?' he asked Leah.

'No' she honestly said. 'It is terrible to watch, but we do need to see it, maybe it will help us to find Sam?'

'Yeah' Spike nodded and smiled. 'we will get through it, we have to find Sam.'

So they started the tapes and watch Sam get tortured again and again. They heard Sam scream and yell out of pain, once more. They saw Sam his feet burn, and had to look at the creep that did it, hearing him tell to story. Spike hated it and every hurtful moment for Sam, hurt him to. It was a straight pain into his heart. he looked at Sam but knew he had to find something, until suddenly he saw it.

… … …

Wordy called the local police. They were still searching. It was a big area, the shed could be anywhere in the woods. But they heard something about a shed from a man that lived nearby the woods. There were going to try and find it. Wordy would hear about it, if they did.

This was taking too long in Wordy's opinion. They couldn't wait, they couldn't hear about it later. They needed to know it now, needed to find Sam now. The tape had showed that more than enough. Sam could be tortured at this exact moment. It could be even worse than what they had seen only minutes ago.

Wordy looked around the room. He saw Spike and Leah watch the tape again. He couldn't. he didn't want to. He couldn't and shouldn't see Sam get tortured again. He knew the time was ticking. In less than an hour they would see another tape. Another torture. More pain, more hurt.

Wordy wondered what would happen if he had to see another torture round. What would change? What would it mean for Sam? Sam was strong, Wordy knew that. But would he be able to keep going on like this?

To Wordy Sam was like his little brother. Sam had always been. From the moment Sam had come in the team, Wordy had a strange feeling of helping, holding and taking care of Sam. He had seen Sam was broken, the entire team had seen it. And after an terrible start, they had started to help Sam, started to heal him. There had been several nights when Sam had called Wordy. Nights in which he had been followed and haunted by terrible nightmares. Wordy didn't knew why Sam always called him, but he did.

The first time he had been surprised. Sam called in the middle of the night. He just wanted to talk, but when Wordy told him it was late and that he was going to hung up, Sam had begged him not to. He had sounded so scared, so haunted. He just needed someone. Wordy had dropped by that night. They had talked for hours. The times after that Wordy didn't thought it was strange anymore when his phone rang in the middle of the night and Sam's name was on the screen. They just talked.

Somehow Wordy believed he would get a lot more calls after Sam was saved. If Sam was saved. AFTER, after Sam was saved. Not if. Never if. Sam would come back, Wordy just had to keep believing that.

… …

Ed and Jules were in the car, they decided to drive Sam's way home again. Maybe they would ran into Sam's car. Maybe they could find a clue that way. The entire drive was done in silence. Neither one of them wanted to talk. Ed kept reviewing the images of Sam's torture in his head. He kept seeing the moment when that man decided to burn Sam's feet. He kept remembering Sam's facial. Sam's fear. Ed could see it. He knew it. He understood how Sam must have felt. The pain must have been excruciating, but the fear and the knowing what was going to happen, but not being able to do anything must have been even worse. Ed's heart fell for the young boy. For is worker.

He knew Sam was really strong and trained, but he wondered how long Sam could survive this. The fact that they didn't knew where Sam was, who Sam took, and how they could find him, was painful and started to annoy Ed. He desperately wanted to save Sam. Sam was like him., he always had been. He was like a younger ed. Young, smart, good shooter, desperate to learn, full of problems, a born leader. Ed loved how he always could talk with Sam. They both like Rock music, they both liked Guns, the both liked adventures, they both knew a lot about the tactical side, both not great at the negotiating side.

Talking with Sam was mostly easy and fun. Sam knew almost the same things as him, the liked the same things. Yes there had been fights and bad moments, but generally Sam was a great worker, that knew what he was doing, when to stop talking and when to give his opinion.

Ed didn't really like the army. He didn't like how terrible stricked they were. How they never gave anybody an inch, never let anybody speak their mind, nor give there opinion. They had to listen and do it.

In the beginning Ed had feared Sam would be like that, but he hadn't, at least not much. The fact that on Sam's first mission he had asked: 'Why not taze his ass?' had been annoying, but if you thought about it it had been logical, understandable. Sam hadn't helped before. He had fought, killed, tasered, etc. he never talked and at that moment didn't really understood it.

Thankfully Sam had changed and learned. He was different now, he was great now. Sam was a great friend and Ed wasn't planning on losing him.

'The graveyard' Jules suddenly spoke.

'What?' Ed asked her.

'The graveyard, it's Tuesday, one time when I was with Sam he went to the graveyard on Tuesday.'

'But Matt is alive' Ed told her.

'I know, but maybe he still went, to finish it or something, I don't know. It is just an haunch. Maybe I'm not thinking straight.'

Ed thought about it a moment. Jules was right in a lot of moments. Would Sam go to the graveyard?

'You really think so?' he asked.

'Yeah,' she spoke. 'I know Matt is alive and it's an empty grave, but Sam went there for many years, many times. He liked to talk there, to cry or to mourn. Now Matt is back and he doesn't have to go anymore, but maybe he decided he wanted to go one more time. To be done with it. To say what's one his mind one last time and end all the pain and hurt from the last years. And it is barely out of the way towards his home.'

'Yeah, you might be right.' Ed agreed and turned the car towards the graveyard.

Hopefully they would find a clue There. Because he wasn't going to let Sam in that place. They would come for him.

….

Greg and Matt decided to sit in the gym. It was quiet at the moment, and it was a calmer room. Not a boring, closed hall.

'Matt?' Greg asked, Matt looked still a little shocky.

'Yeah' Matt coughed 'Yeah I'm here. I'm okay.'

Greg looked at him sadly. 'We will find Sam, Matt, it will be alright.'

Matt looked at him and Greg had to swallow from the pain and devastation he saw in Matt's eyes.

'I know, I just keep thinking and seeing it. This guy he wants to hurt Me and Sam, but why doesn't he hurt me than? Is he after me? I don't understand.'

Greg sighed. 'I think he is after you, I think he hurts you by hurting Sam. And clearly it's working.' Matt looked away. 'Matt? Who would do this? Do you know anybody? Can you think of anyone?'

Matt thought for a moment. 'I don't know. Maybe someone from when I was still an soldier, but I didn't piss someone off personally. Well, except the entire reason why I pretended to be dead for 3 years.'

Greg nodded. 'Yes, I've got a feeling it's about that. Can you explain me the entire story once more?'

Matt nodded and told his story once more. He told about the Denzil Company, about the deals Denzil had made with both the Canadian army and the al-qaida subgroup from Kasif. About how he stopped the deals and the revenge actions. About how he went to the safe house until Denzil died.

'But Denzil died?' Greg asked him after a while.

'Yes' Matt told him. 'Yes he died. He was killed by someone from the Kasif Group, revenge I supposed. It can't really be him.'

'And kids? Brothers? Parents?' Greg asked him.

'Not that we know off, his parents are already deceased. As far as we know he never married and was an only child. It might me a friend of him, but would a friend really do this?'

'People can do more than you think for others, Matt, more than you think.'

That moment Wordy walked in, followed close by Jules and Ed.

'Found anything?' Greg asked. Matt stood up.

'Yes' all three of them said.

'Alright good, one at a time. Ed, Jules?'

'Yes' Ed said. 'We found Sam's car.' Greg immediately stood up too. 'We found it had the graveyard. It was Jules idea, it was brilliant. We found It in the parking garage at the grave yard. It was empty and closed, but we did found something close by, a needle. We send it to the CSI's. there looking into it right know. Maybe we can find DNA or fingerprints.'

'Good, very good' Greg smiled. 'Wordy?'

'They found the place Sam was in. in the tape. It is an old shed not extremely far from here. The local police is looking for a lead right know. We will hear something if they do.'

Before Greg or Matt could reply Spike and Leah ran in.

'We found something in the tape!'

The peep of the computer stopped them in their tracks. They all looked towards the computer and the screen. A message.

'It's been an hour' Matt suddenly told them. Right, it had been an hour. More entertainment in an hour, the leader had told them. It had been an hour. So now it was time for more entertainment. More torture, more pain.

They slowly walked towards the screen and the computer. Almost like they didn't wanted to. To be honest, they didn't. If the walked slowly it took longer before Sam had to be in pain again. But there was no way of preventing this. They had to look, maybe they could find more clues, more leads.

Spike opened the email and started the tracking software.

_More entertainment _

the email said.

Spike pushed the button and the screen opened. They weren't ready for more torture.

….

Sam felt a bit dizzy, his feet still hurt, they still burned and he still couldn't walk but he hadn't felt dizzy before. That moment he noticed he wasn't in the van anymore, he was lying on a table. Well kind of. It was slanting. Sam's and legs were tied on the table widely. His hands and arm lay open-ended, tied to the table with tight handcuffs. His legs were separated and were asunder tight to the table.

He must have been drugged in the van because he couldn't remember getting from the van to the table, neither could he recall getting tied to this table.

Suddenly Nathan came in view.

'Well hallo!' he spoke in his childish tone again.

'Look which sleeping beauty was happy to join us again.'

'Not so happy' Sam almost spit out.

Nathan laughed. 'I guess you noticed you were a little tight up? It is necessary for the show.' That moment the computer ringed. 'Ah, good. Let the show begin.'

The man made the table Sam was lying on straight and walked over towards the camera. Not long later the camera started rolling.

'Goo to see you again, Matt. As you might noticed we changed locations. This place was more suitable. Here nobody can hear the screams. I on the other side have a little story for you again. You're ready for it?' Nathan grimaced to the camera.

Once again he started talking in a child's voice. 'I bet you all know the story about the dead of Jesus Christ. You know the part in which he gets crucified and all. A lot of people don't know how you die that way. You don't die from starvation, nor blood loss, nor infection, no! you die from suffocation. When you are hanging there, crucified and all, you get trouble breathing. Your arms are above your lungs and your lungs can't handle that. You start to suffocate. You can stop this be standing higher. But when your crucified this is pretty painful. You see it means you have you push yourself up, but your feet are stuck on the poll, with a nail. So every time you push yourself up, you heart your feet even more. Your feet are carrying all you weight en pushing yourself up, only excesses that weight. After a time, you become tired. Really really tired. You can't push yourself up anymore, because of the pain and the tiredness. So you hang down. Than you slowly start to die. You suffocate in a couple of minutes.'

Nathan came close to Sam. 'Now of course I don't want Sammy here to die. I want him to be in pain. Did you ever see the needles they use for crucifixion. I guess not.'

Nathan took a needle from one of his workers. It was about twelve centimetre, pointy, dirty and sharp. He came really close to Sam.

No. no way. Oh god no. Sam thought. Please don't do that his mind was begging. Nathan could see Sam's eyes get big. He laughed a little.

'Ow don't get scared now. That's no fun.' Nathan told him. Two of his workers walked over to Sam and grabbed his hands tight. They putted Sam's hands on the table, palms up. Sam tried to fight, but he was tight up to good.

'How do you think it feels, when this needle goes through your hand. right through it, breaking the skin and the bones right away. Would it hurt more, than what I did before. What do you think? I guess you can tell me in a minute.'

That moment Nathan took a hammer and putted the needle on Sam's hand. right in the middle. Sam wanted to beg, to scream, to ask before it happened, but he didn't had the time. Before Sam could do anything Nathan slammed the hammer down, on the needle, pushing it through Sam's hand.

Sam screamed again, harder than he did before. It hurts more, much more. He could feel his hand open, feel his bones break, feel the blood gush out.

Nathan laughed, he seemed to enjoy it. Sam let himself fall back on the table. He closed his eyes and didn't try to think about his hand nor the wound or the pain. It didn't work.

'And did it hurt more?' Nathan asked.

Sam didn't talk, he refused to, he wasn't going to give this asshole that.

'you got nothing to say?' Nathan asked. 'Well how boring, now I still don't know. Well, put it out again.'

And one of the workers pulled the needle out again. Nathan walked away for a moment and brought back a bottle. He hold it above Sam's hand.

'We don't want it to get infected do we?' he asked. Before pouring the liquid over Sam's hand. it turned out to be alcohol. This time Sam didn't scream. It hurts too much to scream. He gurgled a little and closed his eyes. Trying to let the pain lesson, but again it didn't help.

Sam couldn't see it, but Nathan smiled and waved to the camera. While more blood was coming from Sam's wound.

Than Nathan pulled Sam and the table higher, so Sam could look at the camera. That moment Sam had to do something. He had to say something. He had to do something to help his team find him, because he wasn't going to survive this, if this was going to last much longer.

He looked straight into the camera and screamed: 'Nathan' he screamed Nathans name, it was the least he could do. Maybe they could find out who he was.

Nathan turned around quickly and hit Sam in his face. Sam's had slammed back, against the table and for a moment he felt dizzy.

'Don't talk!' Nathan screamed. 'You are not allowed to talk, if I didn't told you so.' Het hit Sam again.

Nathan walked away and came back with a belt. Sam knew what was coming. Nathan was going to hit him. Going to hurt him.

'You are nothing! You may say nothing, NOTHING!' Nathan screamed, and he hit Sam's chest with the belt.

'Nothing, Nothing, nothing, you are nothing!' Nathan screamed again and he hit Sam's legs. He kept hitting, kept slamming, kept hurting.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Just Nothing.

Sam was Nothing.

Sam must say nothing.

It almost became a mantra. Sam tried not to listen, but Nathans harsh voice egged in Sam's head.

Nathan hit him a few more times, before he walked close to Sam and grabbed Sam's good arm.

'You are nothing, and I will show you for once and for all that you are nothing!'

He took a knife and let his workers hold Sam's arm, before he started to kerf in his Arm. This time Sam screamed again. Hard. And he fought. He kept fighting, moving, trying to stop Nathan.

But Nathan didn't stop. He went on. He kept jagging. He kept jagging an word in Sam's arm.

Nothing

He wrote. Sam was nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Just nothing.

….

**And? Did you like it? To painful? Or good enough? **

**What did all of you think about the rest of the team? Good emotions? **

**(I got another quest: Nathan wants to talk to some people of the team. Of course to Matt, but someone else. Who? And why that person? Please give me who all of you want?) **

**Pleassseeee Review. Always love Reviews. How more reviews, how longer the chapters i noticed. **

**Btw: Thanks to BIBI, who gave me a good idea! **

**Greetz, **

**Marije **


	8. the oaths are looking bad

**Dear readers, **

**I want to say i am sorry. Sorry because I only just updated (but here in The Netherlands we have Queensday. Our Queen is stopping and we are getting a King now. This is a really big party) therefor I hadn't updated in a while. Second I want to say I am sorry because I never answered any of the reviews. I only noticed this week that this is possible. Here for I say sorry and next time I will answer, hopefully people like that. **

**Well here is the next chapter! Thanks for all the Reviews! **

**Enjoy! **

…**..**

Sam opened his eyes, he couldn't remember passing out, or maybe falling asleep. He was laid down on a mattress, still in the same room he was before. He laid down on his back and once again both his arms and his feet were tied strictly behind his back. The mattress was dirty, sticky and blank. You couldn't really call it white anymore, since grey, dark and yellow stains covered pretty much the entire upside. Sam's mouth was clean and empty. There was not cloth this time, but he didn't think of speaking. For a moment Sam tried to move, but the pain in his arms , chest and legs were to terrible to move. Sam didn't understood why he was tied up, there was no way he could walk and go about, feeling like this.

After Nathan had finished carving NOTHING in his arm, he had calmed down and he putted the camera off. But he wasn't finished with the torture yet. He had beaten Sam's body multiple times. He had, in some cases, used the belt and some moments he just used his fists, feet or some heavy object close by.

Sam hadn't really cared anymore by then. after the carving he had felt numb, broken. Sam had screamed during the carving, but no more during the beating. He had never screamed that hard in his life. When Nathan was carving it had not only hurt psychically, but mostly mentally. Sam knew the word would always be there, carved in his arm, Sam would always see it and it would be an reminder off what happened.

Sam knew the other pains in his body would go away, eventually. The wounds would heal and scares would slowly start to lesson. But this carving? That wouldn't. it would be a constant point of memory. The carving had been humiliating. Nathan had told him he was nothing, but Sam didn't believe that right? He hadn't chosen to be there. He hadn't wanted to. Today was not Sam's fault, right? Or…?

Sam still didn't really know why he was there. Nathan had told him it was because of Matt, and because he and Matt deserved to be punished. But why wasn't Matt here right? Why was Sam being hurt? Sam couldn't stop thinking about the why.

after a while Sam drifted back to sleep, his mind bought him back to Afghanistan. Back to death and pain and fear, back to his friends that were dying. Back to the terror, he so desperately tried to escape a few years ago. His mind was torturing him further, while his body could now finally rest.

…..

The team was staring at the screen once again. It felt like everything around it had disappeared. The screen was black now, but still all of their eyes stayed focussed on the screen, staring into nothing mostly. Nothing. That was the word that was now circling insight there head. That man had called Sam nothing, the man had carved it in his arm for God's sake. The team had seen it, they had to watch while they couldn't do anything about it.

Ed looked around the team, all looked devastated, their hope that had grew so big right before this video was gone. Their eyes had grew dark, angry but at the same time sad. Ed was sure his eyes showed the same. The broken sorrow, burning anger and hidden fear. He knew then that when Sam would be back, it was going to be hard to make him hole again. To stop him from being afraid and hurt.

'Guys' Ed spoke after a moment of silence. They didn't respond. None of them.

'Guys!' Ed spoke harder. Greg responded, he looked at him and nodded softly. Leah and Wordy looked at Ed as well. Both seemed broken, pained, hurt.

Spike, Jules and Matt still didn't respond, all of them were still staring into nothing. A tear fall down Matt's face. Ed looked Greg into his eyes, sending a silent message. Telling him to say something. Something to comfort his team. Greg nodded.

'Guys' Greg spoke after a moment. 'Guys let's go back to the gym.' Greg knew he had to get them out of the briefing room. The pain and screams of Sam were still in there. They couldn't escape those as long as they were in this room. Wordy, Leah and Ed nodded and started to walk out. Spike nodded after a moment of thinking and Wordy grabbed him by the shoulders and walked with him. Greg walked towards Jules, slowly turning her around.

'Jules' he spoke softly. 'Come, let's get going. We need to find Sam.'

'will we?' Jules asked. 'Will we find Sam? How are you so sure? After this?' she waved towards the screen.

'Jules' Greg sighed.

'I know we will find him, boss. I know. But how? How will we find him back? Alive? Dead? Broken? Hurt? Will there be anything left?' Jules started crying. Greg held her close. Trying to keep her save and sound, and at the same time comforting her.

'Jules we will find Sam. Alive. And yes he will be hurt, he will be broken, but we. Jules, we will heal him. We will love him, hold him, tell him that he is save. He will bring Sam back, Jules. We will.'

Jules nodded, she hugged Greg back, holding into him tight. 'I'm sorry. I just.. for a moment I just didn't had hope anymore, but I know you are right. We will find Sam, and we will make him better.'

Greg smiled a little, he was happy he could do that to Jules, make her believe again. He thrown an arm around her shoulder and wanted to walk out of the room when he saw Matt. Matt was still staring at the screen. White as a ghost. Tears falling from his bog brown eyes. He looked like he was in shock.

Both Ed and Greg stared at him for a moment before nodding to each other and walking closer. Jules slowly left the room.

'Matt?' Ed asked. Matt didn't respond.

'Matt, please' Greg spoke a little louder.

For a moment Matt moved his eyes, but his body staid still.

'Matt look at me' Ed ordered after a moment. Matt was an soldier and immediately responded. He looked Ed in the eye with an unnerving stare, making, just for small moment, Ed feel slightly uncomfortable.

'Yes?' Matt questioned softly.

'You okay?' Greg asked.

'I guess. Am I?' Matt wondered slightly. Ed putted his hands on Matt shoulders.

'Are you coming?' he asked.

'Where. Do what?'

Ed looked into Matt's confused face and his heart fell for the boy. 'Find Sam, anything.' Ed spoke eventually.

'Yeah' Matt suddenly nodded and started to walk out of the room before stopping rather quickly.

'Is this my fault?' He asked. 'Is Sam going to die because of me?'

Ed and Greg walked to him quickly. Holding him tight and forcing him to look them in the eyes. 'Matt, Sam is not going to die. We are going to find him. We got some leads remember? Maybe they will work out? We are going to bring him home. Don't give up on him.' Ed spoke.

'And no, this is not your fault. It will never be. This is the fault of this idiot that took Sam. Of the guy that is hurting him. Not You, never you. And Matt it would kill Sam if he knew you were thinking that way. You know that. For three long years he has blamed himself for your death. Never, in no way, he would want you to feel the same.' Greg continued and smiled at him.

Matt smiled back and nodded. 'We have to find him. Sam and this guy.'

'That's more like it' Ed grinned. 'And when we do, Sam will be save and this son of a b tch will go to jail for an extremely long time.'

Matt nodded again and walked out of the room before saying. 'I would like to have a moment alone with him first.'

Even thought they knew what Matt was referring to, both Ed and Greg couldn't help but agree and slowly nodded their heads before following Sam out of the room.

…

Sam was still lying on the mattress. Face down this time. Nathan, or some other guys, he wasn't sure, had come up to him and kicked him in the stomach. To protect his already sore body he had turned down and hidden his face in the mattress, trying to escape this hell.

He looked up for a moment and could see Nathan holding an small needle, filling it with some sort of liquid flowed. Damn. Sam hoped it wouldn't be drugs. He hated that people used drugs to make people do what they wanted. But after all, Sam hated people who tortured as well. And Nathan had done that to. How big were the oaths he wouldn't use drugs against him.

…

Greg was standing in front of the group. They all stared at him. Some a bit desperate, others fears, full of anger.

'Alright, what are we going to do? What do we have? What do we know?' He asked.

Wordy spoke up first.

'The shed Sam was in a couple of hours ago is found. We could go and check it out?'

'Yes' Jules spoke. 'They left that place, but they were talking to us only an hour later. That means there is not such a big radius right?'

Spike had already picked up his computer and used Wordy's information. 'Damn' He said.

'What is it, spike?' Greg asked.

'Jules is right, the radius isn't that big, but right next to the forest and close by the shed there's a terrain full of old warehouses, factories, homes, all out of order, but it is an really big place to search. And what if they are in the woods still. In another shed. You can't see much on the tapes about that and the forest is a big place to search. Or they could have taken an helicopter and they could be miles away of where we think they are. It's pretty much useless.'

Greg nodded and sighed desperately. 'Alright we ask the local Police to keep searching the woods and that terrain. We will go to the Shed tough. We might find something, you never know. Anything else?'

'Yeah ' Leah spoke up. 'Spike and I watched those last tapes again and we found something.' She showed the team a picture. On the picture they could see one of the assistants of the torture creep. His arm was naked for a little, showing an tattoo.

'What does it mean?' wordy asked.

'it's arabic' Matt suddenly spoke, making everybody stare at him.

'What?' Ed asked.

'It's Arabic. The tattoo. It are some Arabic letters and the sign of the Islam. I have seen them before.'

'By who?' Greg asked Hopefully.

'Denzil's men.'

'Shit, alright so at least we know where certain that this entire thing is about Denzil. We can exclude any other possibilities. ' Greg told the team.

'Which means it has to do with me.' Matt shot back. 'But why do they take Sam than. Why not me? They thought I was dead and they could see Sam suffered, but Sam didn't had anything to do with all of this. So why did they take Sam? Why not me?'

'Maybe they wanted to punish you.' Jules told him, Matt looked up confused. 'Matt if they want to hurt you they could take you and torture you. It would be terrible and it would hurt, but that would be it. They could hurt you worse though. By taking somebody you care about and hurt them. You don't got parents, or a wife or children. All you got is..'

'Sam.' Matt whispered. 'There hurting Sam, to hurt me.'

'Yes.' Jules nodded slowly, seeing the pain grow in his eyes.

'Alright what else we got?' Greg asked after a moment of silence.

'Jules and I found a needle with most likely a sleeping drug in it. We found it next to Sam's car at the Grave Yard. We have send it to the Lab, but it could take a while to find DNA or anything.'

'Alright, so the plan is..' Greg started.

'Where forgetting the name.' Spike suddenly screamed.

'what?' the entire team questioned confused.

'The name. Right before this guy started to get all wild and started' He swallowed hard. 'carving. Sam had told us that name. This guy got crazy because of that. Nathan. That's what Sam tried to give to us. Sam tried to help us. '

The team nodded and thought about it for a second.

'Nathan' Matt choked out. 'I know a Nathan, but I don't.. I can't.. he couldn't...' Matt stammered.

'What? What do you mean Matt?' Wordy asked. 'Which Nathan do you know?'

'Nathan. Nathan Tomingson, was one of the Higher-ups I told about Denzil. One off the Generals. He knows I caused this, but I don't understand. He was one off the guys that tried to get Denzil down. Why would he be on that side now?' Matt was very confused. He didn't understand nor could he really believe what was going on. Nathan? Really? Could this guy be Nate Tomingson?

'So the military might have an mole.' Greg thought out loud. 'Well let's get started. We don't know when this Nathan will start torturing again. Wordy, Ed, Jules you all go to the shed. Try and find something, anything to help this case. Spike make a surge of Denzil's man, anything you can find. Matt could you give Spike some people, save people, he could get that kind of information from?' Matt nodded. 'good, give it to Spike. Leah, I want you to start calling the lab to work harder on that DNA. Tell them it is an emergency. Than start on finding everything about this Nathan Tomingson. Where he is? If he is connected to this case, or to Denzil, I want to know about it? Try and locate him , if possible. We need to see if Nathan really is this guy, or if it is some other Nathan. Spike also try and search through our old cases, see if you can find any Nathans. Matt after giving Spike this information, you and I will follow Ed, Jules and Wordy to the shed. I will call to local police and ask them to search the area, we shall join them later. Now go, and find me something.'

The team let out some 'Yes' and 'Yes sirs' before running of doing their duty. Matt gave the information to Spike and followed Greg towards his car.

….

Sam could feel someone sitting next to him, he slowly moved his head, trying to see who it was. He saw it instantly. Watching the man he hated more than anyone, by know. Nathan was sitting next to him, smiling slowly and staring at Sam's wounds. After a moment he noticed Sam was staring at him and smiled even bigger.

'Well, hello to you too.' He spoke.

Sam grunted. Was the hour already over? Had the time passed so fast?

'Don't be scared' Nathan spoke after seeing Sam's eyes grow big of fear. 'I won't torture you.. yet. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Wanted to talk to you.'

Sam looked at him angry, but Nathan forcefully turned him around, forcing Sam to look at him.

'It is nice to look someone in the eye when they are talking to you Sammy.' He said before hitting Sam in his painful stomach. 'I doubt you want to make me angry again.'

'How are you feeling?' he asked innocently when Sam didn't reply.

Sam stayed silent but after another punch in his gut he decided it was smarter to answer.

'What do you think?' he said sarcastically.

'Well, I would say not so good. But you must know most of it your fault, or Matt's of course.'

'Matt's fault, my fault?' Sam asked confused.

'Yeah, Sammy. Your fault. You tried to run away. You tried to run away so I had to hurt your feed. You talked when you shouldn't so I had to hurt your arm. You didn't look at me when I was talking to you, so I had to hit you in the face. You see. It is your own fault. And I am torturing you because I hate Matt and I want him to feel your pain.'

His fault? His fault!? How could this be his fault, when al he tried to do was go home and be save. God, it gave him an headache. Sam sighed. There was no talking to this guy.

'You will see it sometime. That this is your fault, I mean. You will learn.' Nathan told him before leaving him alone again. Drowning in his own pain, fear and misery.

…

Jules, Ed, Wordy, Matt and Greg had reached the shed quickly. By know the hour had passed, but there had been no 'entertainment' or more like it 'Torture' yet. The shed was small, dusty and dark. The local police had provided light and now they could see the marks where Sam had been. In the shed was the seat Sam had sat on while they tortured his feet. The burner was gone, and so was Sam. But they could see some blood on the floor. Most likely Sam's. the camera and the lights were gone as well.

They all looked around, inside, outside and on top of the shed, but didn't find anything in particular.

'Who's shed is this?' Wordy asked an police officer.

'No one' The young boy answered. 'I belongs to the forest I suppose. It hasn't been used for ages, other than maybe as a love shack or horror house for teenagers.'

'Great, so DNA will be useless.' Ed grumbled.

'Guys?' Jules spoke up after a moment. The others walked over to her , staring at some blood on the ground.

'This blood.' Jules spoke. 'It is away from the rest. Remember Nathan, or whoever he is, telling us that Sam tried to escape and hurt his employee. Maybe this isn't his? Maybe it's this guy's blood?'

'Good thinking Jules.' Greg spoke before Asking an CSI to take some of the blood and process it. Not long later Spike talked over the com.

'Alright.' He said. 'Leah and I have done what you asked. I searched through all the old cases, which included Sam. There were some Nathan's but nothing special came out. No Nathan ever really had something with Sam, no problems or anything. I found the Names of Denzil's guys. Thank you Matt. The military told me they are still watching those fellows, but because Denzil is dead and his company is gone it had become rather hard. Hard to keep track of them, I mean. Some of them have recently disappeared I heard. I am still looking into that. Leah had found some information about Nathan Tomingson. Big general, great soldier, short fuse, once there have been complains of him hitting some of his soldiers, but not much special. She did find out though, that he likes money, a lot, and I mean a lot, lot. He has an lot of money but is constantly working on getting more. Legal or not. And, not to forget, het has disappeared, as well. Not the army, nor his family has been able to contact him.'

'Alright so it could be him. Keep trying to find his locating. Maybe there using a place he knows for the torture. And try to find out why he would want to torture Sam. Any update about that yet.' Greg asked ,referring to another torture session.

'Thankfully no.' Spike spoke before returning to search.

They kept searching the area and thinking of ways to find Sam, but were not finding much interesting, until suddenly Leah screamed over the phone: 'We got DNA, we got DNA.'

The team immediately responded. 'Who is it?' 'Where?' 'How?'

'Easy!' Greg yelled and the team became quiet. 'what are you saying, Leah?'

'The lab called, they let our case go first because we are dealing with a missing officer. The blood on the scene turns out to be the same as the DNA on the Needle. It belongs to a Danny Minks, Ukranien, has been living in Canada for 6 years. Has been arrested twice for abuse and assault. Prison for 6 months.' Leah spoke up.

'where does he life?' Matt asked.

'Unknown since a year. After he came back from prison.' Leah said with a sigh. 'Damn!'

'Shit' Jules spoke.

'Wait' Spike suddenly gave in. 'His file says that when he started living in Canada he lived with a friend for a few months. Apparently the military has been watching this guy for quite a while, too. His name is Niklas Milaksa, Ukrainian as well. Lives surprisingly close by. He lives close by the forest, sending the whereabouts to you know.'

'Great, And how exactly did you found this file?' Ed joked.

'You do not need to know that, just did my magic' spike smiled.

'Alright let's go.' Ed spoke.

….

Nathan came close to Sam again before touching his face slowly.

'Waky waky sleepyhead!' he spoke happily. Sam slowly opened his eyes and watched Nathan stare at him. 'It's time again. But first I would like to speak to Matt. Don't worry we won't change location again. I made sure there is no way they can track us.'

'Why.' Sam coughed. 'Why are you calling Matt?' he asked. He felt terrible. His chest was burning and he was cold. His arm was only getting bigger and started feeling numb and he felt slightly sick. That probably was caused by the kicks into his abdomen. The whole in his hand was thankfully rapped up, because he would have hated it to look at it all the time, but it did feel strange and was still hurting badly. The same thing could be said about the carved word in his arm. The other cuts, bruises and breaks hurt as well, but thankfully Sam barely noticed that. He was feeling warm and believed he was having a fever. His feet were numb. He barely felt them at all.

'Why? Well I would like to tell him personally about how much fun we are having. And what is going to happen next.' Nathan told him and Sam groaned.

'Ow don't worry Sammy I promise to be nice to your friend, maybe. You know what I will talk to somebody else to. Who do you want? Do you want me to talk to your Boss? Tell him what I am doing to his employee? Tell him how he didn't protect nor can find his worker? Or do you want me to talk to Ed. I bet he must be a hard but great leader. Maybe hurting you will make him a little less cocky. Or maybe Jules. A sweetheart aint she? And a pretty thing to. Don't look at me like that, I won't hurt her, but you do give me ideas this way. Do you believe she might be hurt more because she's a girl? I don't really. Or maybe Leah. She is kind of new isn't she? You think she will even care? Or maybe Wordy. Such a sweet guy. Nice family, nice house, sweet children. He seems to care a lot about you. Heard you called him quite a few times. Or Spike. How would he handle this? after losing his best friend and all. Must hurt to see you get hurt as well.'

Sam looked at Nathan angry. He knew Nathan was just torturing him more only mentally at this moment. Making him think about his friends, his family. Talking about his friends in such a way and making Sam feel pain and fear for his friends. He stared at Nathan for a while, while Nathan thought about it for a moment.

'I think I'll go for Spike. Yeah I would like that. And then, when I am finished, we shall start, won't we?'

Sam tried to move, tried to do something but he was tied down pretty good and his injuries made it hard. There was nothing he could do to stop Nathan from hurting his best friends and his team.

…

Matt was sitting in the car with Ed and Wordy. They were al quiet, thinking about what to say and what to do when they found Danny Minsk. Matt had some ideas. Some really bad ideas, but he knew he couldn't us them. They needed this guy alive.

Matt looked outside. He couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault. If he hadn't took Denzil down. If he hadn't come back now Denzil was dead. Maybe, just maybe he could have prevented this. He also didn't understood this information about Nathan. Was this guy, this terrible creep, really Nathan Tomingson. A good soldier, a general? Why? Why would Nathan do this? Why would he want to hurt Sam or Matt himself. What had they done wrong to him? Matt knew this guy liked money. He had even know it when he was still in war, but he couldn't believe that someone would do this for money. As far as Matt knew Sam had never met General Tomingson, he doubted Sam knew it might be this guy, at the moment.

Matt was brought back to the real life buy the buzzing feeling of his phone. He took it quickly and answered.

'Matt Whitlock' he spoke.

'Ahh Matt, nice to hear your voice again.' The voice spoke. Immediately Matt sat up and noticed Wordy and Ed, who started messaging Spike to track the call and to let everybody listen trough the headsets.

'Nathan' Matt spoke harsh.

Nathan grumbled a moment. 'So you heard that. Know who I am all ready? Why I am doing this?'

'Were working on it, we will find you.'

'I bet you will' Nathan laughed. 'Thought it might be too late.'

'What. Do. You. Want!' Matt almost screamed.

'For what? To release Sammy here. Well I don't know. I don't think I want him to leave. I am enjoying our time together. Though I must say he starts to get a bit sick. Which isn't very suprising after everything I did to him.'

'You are an terrible person. He is sick, you have to release him. Kidnapping and torturing an officer is already a crime. But murder is much worse.' Matt tried to reason.

'Yeah I guess, but Matt I get so much pleasure out of hurting you and him. I want revenge and I can't do that if I would release Sam. Could i?'

'Take me' Matt spoke, as he saw Ed and Wordy giving him warning looks. 'Let me switch. Torture me. You want revenge on me, so be a man and don't take somebody else, take me.'

Nathan laughed. 'Oh, how brave and sweet. I bet Sam would love to hear that. But no Matt, I don't want to switch. I know that this way I am giving you the worst pain you could get. The pain you deserve. How does it feel Matt? When you were dead, Sam believed it was his fault. He lived with that quilt for quite a long time. How do you think that felt? Would you survive that? Would you make it out when you were hurt so badly? I wonder about that. Maybe I'll find out. IF I killed Sammy, it would be your fault. Your freaking fault, Matt! And for the rest of your life you would have to life with the guilt. Could you have done something? Something to prevent this? To stop me? To save Sam? I doubt you'll survive that. I'm sure you have put your gun in your mouth before the end of the month. You'll be weak. You'll be an coward, and that would give me the biggest pleasure in the world. '

Matt couldn't speak. He couldn't respond. Tears were falling down his eyes as he cried out of pain, quilt and fear for his best friend. Wordy looked at him with sympathy, shaking his head and telling him not to listen, but Matt had to, because everything Nathan told him was the truth. He wouldn't survive the guilt. He couldn't live without Sam anymore. He had to save him. Not just for Sam's but also for his own life, because there was no way Matt would want to live if he caused his best Friends death. He couldn't believe that Sam survived it. He thanked god he did, but he couldn't understand. He would be weak, he would hurt and he would destroy himself.

'No respond huh? A suppose you agree then.' Nathan laughed.

'Please don't' Matt begged. Nathan laughed hard at this.

'I might. But know I want to speak to somebody else. Before I might do something we both regret. Let me talk to….. well….ehm.. Spike.'

Matt looked at Wordy and nodded. Wordy told Spike to respond before climbing in the back and hugging Matt.

'Spike' Spike spoke.

'Ah Spike, how nice to chat for a moment.'

'You think? I doubt this is such a happy talk.'

'Yeah well, I just want to know something. How do you feel at this moment? Are you afraid? Are you hurting as well? Does Sam means just as much to you as he does to Matt. Or does he means less?'

'Sam is family.' Spike only told him. He knew Nathan tried to provoke him, and he wasn't planning on letting him.

'Ow I see. But does he means just as much to you as Lewis did?' Spike breathed in deeply, trying to stay calm. 'Are you afraid of Sam's life right now? Do you believe you are doing enough to save him? Do you believe everybody on your team is doing their very best? Do you believe you will find your friend? Do you even believe Sam will ever by Sam again. Really the old Sam? The Sam you know? Or will he be a broken man. A shell of what he once was. Are you afraid to lose another good friend?'

Nathan laughed softly for a moment, before continuing. 'Do you believe you are cursed, Michelangelo? People die around you. Lew did, lots of people did. Don't you think Sam is just another one in your death list. Don't you believe this is all you fault?'

Spike breathed deeply and harsh, wheezing a little. He hated this guy. He hated he brought up Lew. Lew was not his fault. He had done everything he could to get him save, but there had been nothing he could do. It took a long time before he and believed it himself, Sam had even helped him with it. But now, he knew it was not his fault, and if Nathan believed he could break Spike by bringing the pain from Lew's death back up, he would be badly deceived.

'We will find Sam. Trust me we will. Sam is strong he will survive this and he will defeat you. You are a coward. A sick coward. The only way you can be the boss about somebody is be tying him up and torturing him. You believe you can beat us, destroys us and Sam? Well think again, you idiot. We won't let you, Sam won't let you and I most definitely won't let you! I know i am not at fault, I am not cursed, you on the other hand are. The moment you decided to take Sam and hurt him, you were. Because the moment we'll get you, you sure as hell won't be happy. '

Spike ended his rating, breathing hard, sweat dripping from his head. He hoped he had shocked the guy, but unfortunately all Nathan did was laugh. He laughed so hard he could hardly breathe.

Spike breathed in deeply. Trying to keep his anger inside of him, but failing badly.

'How brave again. Very, very sweet and entertaining. However I've got to keep going on. Sammy has had enough time to rest, let's have some fun again.' Nathan spoke.

'No!' not only Spike but also Matt and the rest of the team suddenly screamed, which made Nathan laugh again.

'Well, Well. So sweet. But it won't help. You don't know who I am, you don't know how the find me and I can do whatever I want. So I am going to. I suppose you all are listening, so let me explain what I am going to do. I doubt his body can take much more at this moment so I decided to go for the mind this time.'

Matt grumbled. He knew mental torture could be worse than physical. No matter if you broke every bone in your body it was still harder, almost impossible to break someone's sole. But he also was pretty sure Nathan would be able to, and at this very moment he not only feared for Sam's live and body.

'so what's the planning, you wonder?' Nathan continued. 'I am planning on using drugs this time. Not a normal drug, no I found this drug a while ago. I call it the living nightmare. It makes you feel like you are sleeping, you've got your eyes closed and barely notice anything around you, but you aren't sleeping. It's like a cognitive sleep. You can have dreams, but people around you, who play there games right, can change these dreams into something they want the sleeper to see, to think, to feel.'

'Matt?' Nathan suddenly asked. 'I suppose you can still remember the hell of Afghanistan? How would Sammy like to be back there, only a little bit … worse.' He spoke, which caused Matt to let out a harsh growl and made his eyes grow dark.

'let's start. Next video up in half an hour.' Nathan spoke last before hanging up.

Matt breathed in deeply and closed his eyes a sec.

'Spike?' Greg asked.

'No joy, he was jamming the network. Couldn't track him.'

'Shit!' Ed cursed.

'Easy Ed, calm down. We need to keep focus. We will find Sam. We got an lead remember. We think we know who this guy is, we only need to find him. And we know one off his workers. We even know his most likely location. We'll take him with and we will get Sam's location of him.' Greg reasoned Ed, but secretly trying to comfort the entire team.

'And then we'll find Sam!' Wordy stated.

'And then we'll find Sam.' Greg agreed.

Matt kept looking out of the window. He agreed on the plan, only his had some small adjust ions. The moment he found this Danny Minsk he would do anything to get the information he wanted and needed. He hated to see Sam get hurt in Half an hour, especially because this might be the worst torture Nathan could give him. Sending him back to that hell, making him go through it again, only worse. It would break Sam apart. Matt had known from the beginning he would do anything to get Sam back, anything indeed. Now he knew exactly was he was going to do. Danny is going to talk, whether he wants it or not. And when Matt would be done with him, he would break his neck like a sprig. Until he went on to do the same to Nathan and anybody who had something to do with this.

Matt could play this game just as good.

**Tadaa, I hope you liked it! This one wasn't so painful. But the next will be. Is Sam going to be okay afther the next torture? Will Matt make some bad choices? What do you think?  
I would like to say I am not discrimination the Islam or Ukrainian people. If it felt that way I am sorry. **

**(next chapter will be partly in Wordy's view, because someone asked for that) **

**Next Update will be quick, promise! **

**Greetz, **

**Nadya.**


	9. you don't understand

**Hey all, I know long time and what not, I am truly sorry. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews! Loved it. ****(btw: Wat leuk om een Nederlands iemand te ontmoeten op de site!)**

**Her is the next chapter. Will Sam survive? Will Matt do something stupid? **

**Let's start and see. **

**Enjoy! **

**(I don't own FLASHPOINT/ sadly not even a little bit) **

…**..**

Sam watched Nathan come close. He didn't move anymore. He didn't thought anymore, he just laid on the mattress, face buried. There was nothing insight him at the moment, as he had pushed everything away. Locked every single thought out of his mind, as he believed this was the only way to create some peace, for his body, his mind and his life.

Nathan sad next to him and once again stroked his face.

'Ow Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. What have you got yourself into?' Nathan questioned happily.

Sam didn't respond, to focussed on.. well.. nothing actually.

'You heard my phone call?' he questioned.

Again Sam didn't respond, but he did however hear what Nathan was saying.

'Ignoring isn't nice Sam. ' Nathan spoke before sighing. 'Well let's start then.'

'I am going to call Mattie again, alright. But we will tape this as well. I'll send it to him in little while. But first.' Nathan spoke before moving his hands towards his men.

One of Nathans man came closer, carrying an needle and some fluid.

'This Sammy, This is my new way of torture. Only this isn't physical, it's mental.'

Sam tried to move and stop Nathan from placing the needle in his arm, filled with the fluid by now, and making him go through some sick kind of torture. But he wasn't fast enough. He could barely move, barely even think. By the time he sat up, the needle was already in his arm end the fluid was waving through his feigns. Nathan slowly pushed him back, holding his hands tied together and pushing Sam's face into the matrass.

'Well let's begin. At this moment the fluid is starting to work, do you feel tired already Sammy? You probably will really quick now. It will feel like you are falling asleep, but you're not, Sammy, you're not sleeping. Your still awake and can hear everything I do and feel everything I do.'

Sam started to get worried. What was Nathan planning to do? What did he want to do? To say? To make? To do? Sam didn't know. He felt scared, which was pretty strange. He had hardly felt scared so far. Hurt, annoyed, pained sure, but really scared? No. But so far he still could do something against it. He could move, scream and talk. Anything. But Nathan was right, he was starting to feel tired, his eyes slowly started to close and there would be nothing he could do to stop Nathan.

Sam fought the tiredness. He moved and even begged a moment, but he had the feeling the words hadn't even left his mouth. For a moment he closed his eyes but he noticed fastly that opening them up wasn't possible anymore.

Nathan was at power know, as Sam couldn't move anymore, couldn't talk and couldn't open his eyes.  
He was at Nathan's mercy. Nathan was in charge and all he could do was hop everything would be alright.

'Let's go back to the war, Sam' Sam heard Nathan speak as his mind started to bring back the memories.

….

Wordy watched Ed and Matt, as they were still in the car, on their way to Niklas Milaksa's house. The house where they hopefully would find Danny Minks, the guy that had kidnapped Sam in the first place. Wordy wondered how they were going to get the information. He was sure, very sure, they would get the information, but how?

What were they planning to do to get this information? He knew, he, and the team would go pretty far to get the information, but they wouldn't go too far… right?

No, no they wouldn't. Wordy didn't believe that. He wouldn't , the team wouldn't, Matt wouldn't…. Wait. He didn't knew that. Het hardly knew Matt. He didn't knew how Matt would respond. He knew Matt was hurt and scared, he knew Matt would do anything to get Sam back, safely and alive hopefully.

But how far would Matt go for this? Would he go illegal? Would it even be a bad thing? Wordy doubted even more. He didn't knew anymore. Sam meant a lot to him. Extremely a lot. They were good friends and Sam felt like a little brother to him. They have talked a lot. Sam meant a lot to Wordy as well.

But still, how far would Wordy go for his friends? For his family?

Wordy looked behind him, Matt was leaning against the window, eyes closed and breathing hard. Wordy knew the phone call had been terrible for him. Matt had started crying and wordy had comforted him, but it hardly helped. Matt was shacking to the core. Angry and pained.

While Wordy watched him, Matt opened his eyes. Hard, clear eyes full of anger and hatred.

'You okay Matt?' Wordy questioned. Ed gave him an strange look.

'Yeah, peachy.' Matt told him in an monotone voice. There was hardly any feeling in it.

Wordy knew what Matt was doing. He was in soldier mode. No feelings until the job was done. No pain, no thinking, just doing, just working. Wordy wondered if it was good for Matt, to do this. He knew Matt was in pain, not physical, but mental. He knew that hurting Sam was also hurting Matt. But still, he doubted that the soldier mode was the way to solve this. People had to feel. Matt had to feel.

'You sure?' Wordy asked again.

'Yeah' Matt answered in the same voice.

Wordy sighed, he knew this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. He had to try to get the normal Matt back. The scared, lost Matt.

'Matt, I know this is hard on you, but doing this isn't the way. You know that right?' Matt didn't respond, he just looked at him in a strange harsh way. 'You need to feel, you need to know what's happening. I know you're afraid, but trust me, we will find him, we will get him! Sam will be okay.'

'Shut up!' Matt spoke harsh. 'don't you tell me everything is okay. Everything is not okay. Everything is fucked up, Wordy. I caused my best friends torture. I caused this. And that hurts, terrible. And no, I don't want to feel that pain anymore. So don't you dare telling me to feel. I'll feel the moment Sam is safe and sound. Not earlier, no change.'

Wordy looked at Matt in shock. He hadn't expected this, he hadn't expected any response at all. This response nearly said it all. He had to shut up and let Matt be. Still Matt had the feeling that letting this go, wasn't the right thing. He just couldn't stop that nasty feeling in his stomach.

…

The memories were swallowing Sam, bringing him back to the dessert, to the deaths, to the hell. The drug and Nathan's words bringing him into an haze. Everything around him faded away. The memories changed, turned, hurt. They were mixing with the SRU, with fantasies, with the things Nathan was telling him. Sam knew this was worse than hell. But he also knew, there was no way he could stop this.

_Bullets and sands, were hitting him. A hot burning sun was hanging in the air, burning his skin, hurting his already painful eyes. Bodies were lying on the floor, surrounded by their own blood. Some weren't dead yet. Some were screaming, begging for help, begging for him, for life. But there was nothing Sam could do. Sam couldn't move. Sam couldn't make them better. Sam couldn't save them, stop them from dying in such an terrible way. _

'Can you feel the burning Sam? Can you see the fire?' Nathan asked.

_Yes, yes Sam could see it. Fire and burnings everywhere around him. Cities burning. Burning cars, burning people, burning children. Deaths ,deaths, deaths. All around him. He wanted to close his eyes, but he couldn't. he had to watch. Flames burned and licked his skin. Creeping around him. Coming close, but never close enough. Rubble and dust reached his eyes. Giving an burning feeling. And the heat. The heat was unbearable. It felt as hot as the flames of hell. _

'Run Sam Run!' Nathan whispered.

_And Sam ran. As hard as he could. Trying to leave this mess behind him. He ran through it, he had to get away. Had to do his job. Had to shoot the bad guys. He wants to go high, wants to shoot and find a dead body, which can be blame for all of this. He wanted the fear, the heat, the deaths to go away and leave him alone. He wanted silence, he wanted peace. _

'There is no were to run Sam. Can't you feel it following you? You killed people Sam. You killed every friend you've have. Matt, the team, the SRU. Death, Death, Death. They want revenge Sam. They want to hurt you. See them Sammy, let them hurt you.' The words were hardly spoken at all, but Sam couldn't stop them. Couldn't stop these thoughts from hurting him and letting him scream out in pain.

_Sam tries to keep running, tries to climb and get away. Climbing higher and higher. Until he finds a way to get away. But he can't. he can't escape. He hears explosions. Hears gunshots and screams. He's holding his rifle suddenly. He's looking through the scope and he knows what's coming. He tries to stop himself from shooting, but there's nothing he could do. Nothing he can change. He dodges a shot, and another one. He keeps shooting. Seeing his own friends and family die from his shots. He hears them scream. The once that are only wounded beg and scream and try to get away. The deaths rattle, are starting to rot and fall into the ground. Sam keeps shooting, keeps killing. He cries. He can feel the tears coming from his eyes. Falling on his cheeks. _

_Suddenly he's running again. Fleeing. Trying to save his soul, from the hell fire that is following him. His friends, his family, his loved once. Dead and rotting. Screaming and watching him. Trying to get him. Sam runs, runs like hell is following him, because it is. The grounds crakes open. Fire surrounds him. Hands touch him, hurt him, pinch him. their feeling like fire. their burning his skin. He can see the painful, hatred faces of his once known friends. All death, all back from hell or heaven, to send him to hell. To let him die. Let him burn, let him feel. They've got knifes, and they start hitting him, carving his skin and breaking his bones. He screams, screams out in fear and pain. His body is breaking. His mind is breaking. He screams, he screams like hell. _

Nathan laughs softly, waving to the camera. Knowing Sam's team is going to be watching. Knowing Matt is going to be watching. 'feel the intensity. They hate you Sammy. They hate you. The want you to die. To do it yourself. To break your soul. To kill you. No body, no feeling, no soul. Die Sam, just die.'

_Sam feels himself dying. Sam feels himself falling. He feels tension in the air, in his body, in his soul. His soul was death, there is just nothing left of him. The intensity of this revelations almost kills him. He is nothing. Just like Nathan says, just like Nathan thinks. He killed his friends, his people. There is nothing left. Nothing of his feeling of his believes are still there. He's broken, and he knows it. He knows he's getting close to dying. But does it even matter. Does he even care? Will people even notice he's dead? _

_Sam can feel his rifle. Feels it firing at him. Feels the bullets in his body, in his heath. Smoke comes from the barrel of the gun. His gun. The thing he used to kill everyone. It's only right, it kills him as well. His blood runs into the sand, into the ground and he falls, he falls into the debts to the earth. Into hell. Were he belongs. Were he has to be. Till he doesn't move anymore. His unmoving body hits the ground. The power of death taking him. _

'stop' Sam begged .'Please stop and let me die.' Nathan simply laughs again. And strokes his face. 'You will die, Sammy. Not long now. But you don't want me to do it, do you? You need to do it yourself. You want to do it yourself. Die, just die. Let yourself die Sammy.' Nathan smiled brightly. Watching the camera again.

_Sam feels himself agreeing. Suddenly he's back . back in the dessert. Everybody looks at him as he takes his riffle again and puts it against his head. They nod and smile. Showing him he has to do it. They support him in it. Matt looks at him. Full of hatred. Full of death. They all look death. They all look hurt and pained. That is what Sam did. He didn't kill them for real. He kills them from the inside. This is all his fault. He kills them. He hurts them. He lets them die. He needs to die for that. That is his punishment for breaking everything around him. His death, to make sure they don't. a good cause. A good death. A deserved death. _

_He's damned, and he knows it. Damned for hell, damned for death. His soul breaks as he knows he deserves this. A howl of pain takes him over. He wants to scream, but he chokes. Chokes in his own blood. In his own pain. In his own soul. He can hear people scream his name in a distance. But he can't respond. Because he finally knows what he needs to do. What he deserves. What he gets. This way of living, is no living. The tears, the screams, the hurt, the moans it's too much. He might not life at all. The graves surround him. Swallow him slowly. He destroys, that's all he does. It's the only thing he can do. He destroys and picks up the pieces after words. He screams for mercy. Begs for death. He wants to be saved, but he can't be saved. He doesn't even dare to ask for a saving. He deserves death. He wants death. _

_He wants to leave this struggle behind him. There is no peaceful respite. No respite at all. And he knows there is only one thing he can do. He knows the world now, he knows the truth. He needs to die. It's the best thing. 'I want to die' he says over and over again. 'I deserve to die' he speaks. His friends want him to die. His family wants him to die. The world wants him to die. And he, he wants to die as well. _

_Death is all he can do, after all. _

…_. _

The team reaches the house of Niklas Milaksa. They thought about going in slow, soft and surprising. But none of them had the patience in them at this moment. So they went in guns blazing. Running to the house. Slamming down the door. Screaming to the man inside to sit still and put their hands up.

Both men inside have no time to respond, no time to fight and slowly they put their hands up and sit on their knees. Both are looking surprised, if not shocked, from what just happened.

Ed forces both of them on a chair. Pushing a bit harder than he intended in the first place, but for a moment his anger took over.

'Who the hell are you?' one of the boys speaks up.

'Were the cops, SRU.' Greg tells them. 'What are your names?' he asked almost friendly, but without an smile.

'I'm Niklas Milaksa. And I'm legal. You've got no right, to come in here.'

'Ow trust me we do.' Greg speaks. Knowing this isn't the guy they are looking for. The other one, on the other hand is. 'Your name?'

The man doesn't respond. He simply spits on the ground, right in front of Greg.

Wordy wants to hit the man in his face, especially at that moment. He is sure he isn't the only one. He watches Matt. Matt is standing still. Simply watching the guy who most likely was, no is Danny Minks.

'No time for games, Danny.' Ed speaks up, pretty much barking the words out.

Danny looks a bit startled at this. 'What do you want?'

'We want to know where our friend is. You kidnapped him. You hurt him and gave him to an insane idiot. And we, we want to know where he is now?' Ed almost spits the words out.

Danny Minks laughed. 'I've don't know what you are talking about.' He slowly got up.

Ed pushed him back in the chair. Again trying to convince and force Danny into telling them where Sam was. Where there friend was. But Danny refused to answer. Refuse to give them the location, they so desperately wanted to have. Matt watched it all happen. Watched the team trying to force Danny into answering, but he knew this wasn't going to work.

Danny was a special kind of person. The kind of person that didn't went down without a fight. That didn't listen to anybody. Only to themself. One that fought, hurt and destroyed every day. Simply for money, pride or fun. He wasn't going to give up. Not for a person and definitely not for a cop. But Matt knew he could force this guy to answer. If he wanted at least. He only doubted if the SRU would let him. Probably not. But he didn't really care. If he was really honest with himself.

He came forward. Taking his gun an pointing it at the piece of s t that had hurted Sam. He could hear the team scream, could hear them raising their gun and pointing it at him. He didn't really care. But didn't understood it neither. Why didn't they understand him? Why couldn't they see what he was doing? Why didn't they want to do everything he wanted to do. Didn't they wanted to do everything for Sam? He wondered and doubted. Suddenly he heard someone scream. He noticed he had went into an haze. An haze of thoughts and doubt. He suddenly could hear Wordy shouting at him.

'Matt put the gun down.' Wordy screamed.

Danny minks was looking at Matt in a scary way. A white face, big eyes. Finally, for once he was scared. Matt was having progress but why didn't they see that. Matt had done what they couldn't.

'Who is this idiot? You can't do this.' Danny screamed.

'Shut up' Matt growled at him.

'Matt? Matt, what are you doing?' Wordy asked. He walked a bit closer to Matt.

'Don't move.' Matt spoke. 'You can't stop me. You just don't understand.'

'What don't I understand?' Wordy asked, confused, a little bit hurt.

Matt sighed. 'You don't understand how much I care about Sam. Clearly you don't.'

Wordy looked up shocked. 'You don't think I, we care about Sam?'

'No. you don't. otherwise you would have pulled your gun on him. Not on me. Don't you understand that this is the only way to make him talk?' he walked closer to Danny. 'So where is Sam? Tell me now!'

Wordy immediately walked closer as well. Trying to make Matt look at him. Was this what he had been thinking all along? That they won't do the same thing for Sam as he woudl?

'Matt, Matt look at me.' Matt shook his head. Shoving his gun in Danny's neck. 'Matt we do care. We love Sam, just like you do. But this is not how we work, Matt. This is not the right way.'

'That is where you're wrong, Wordy. You don't know if it is the right way or the wrong way. Your way is talking and no violence. This, this is my way. My right way. Clearly yours didn't work. So now I'm trying my way.' He pulled Danny's head back, forcing him to look at him. 'Where is he? This is you last change.'

The team screamed at Matt. They couldn't shoot Matt. They couldn't. Sam wouldn't forgive them. There was no way he would. Sam would shoot them to moment they told him. They had to talk Matt out of this. They just had to.

'I – I don't know. They just took him with. Nathan took him with. I swear.' Danny stuttered. Matt sighed and wiggled his gun.

'Last change.'

Ed and Wordy both put their finger on the trigger. They gave a soft prayer. Hoping God and most likely Sam would forgive them. They knew he wouldn't.

'Okay, okay wait, I tell you, just wait.' Danny suddenly spoke.

Matt smiled and putted the gun down. The teams sighed and run forward, pulling Matt back slowly.

'Tell me' Matt whispered with an harsh voice.

'Alright alright, just don't let him get close to me.' Danny asked Ed, who nodded, in the meantime wordy pulled Matt back further. Matt let him.

'Speak.' Ed grumbled.

'Nathan hired me. He paid good money okay. He told me he didn't wanted to kidnap this guy, this Sam It's all about. He was afraid he might get got if he did that. The oaths were too big, or something. He just didn't want to. So he paid me and I took this friend of yours. Yeah I hurt him a few times, but nothing more I swear. He fucking beat me. Was faster and smarter than I expected. But Nathan got there before he could escape. Punished him pretty hard for that. After that they left and I Left , that's it .I swear.'

'Where is he now?' Matt growled, coming dangerous close again. This time without his gun, since Wordy took his away. Matt hadn't want to, but Wordy had given him an very angry, ordering look. For a guy with so many daughters in his house, he could be quiet scary.

'I don't know. Not really. He asked me for some places, and I told them a few places I know. Can be any of them.' Danny sighed.

'Give them, all of them.' Spike told Danny, who rushed to give him the places.

Wordy, Greg and Ed walked out. Wordy grabbed Matt's arm and pulled him with. Once outside Ed pushed Matt against the wall.

'Don't you ever, ever do that again. We should arrest you for that. That is not how we work. This could bring us some serious problems, so don't you ever. Ever do that again. Understood?' he shouted.

'Let go of me.' Matt spoke before pushing lose and turning around. 'You just don 't understand.'

'ow right, we don't care about Sam at all. We wouldn't do anything for him. Well you know what, Matt. You don't know shit. We care about Sam. We were there when you weren't. so you've got no right to say that.' Ed yelled.

'I tried, I couldn't. I was protecting him!' Matt screamed back, furious at Ed for bringing this up.

'Sure you were. But that doesn't makes doing something like this right. So why did you do it? You could get yourself killed that way. We almost shot you. We almost killed you. Doing that isn't right, isn't normal. So why? Why go illegal. Even a soldier wouldn't do that. So why!?'

'Because it's my fault!' Matt suddenly screamed out. 'Because Sam is there because of me. Because I did this, I caused this. I can't go without Sam. I couldn't forgive myself. So yeah. I do anything to save Sam. Because I can't live with the quilt. With the loss. With the pain. Please just help me.' Matt begged loudly, screaming almost as he sunk to the floor and he slowly started crying. Forcefully he wiped the tears away.

Wordy stepped closer, bended his knees and sat in front of him. He putted his arms around the poor figure and hold him close. Comforting and southing him. After a moment he raised Matt's face and looked him in the eye strongly.

'It's okay Matt. This isn't your fault. Please, don't blame yourself. Please don't give up. Not on us. Not on Sam and not on yourself. Sam is holding on, I can feel he is. He's going to be okay, alright?

Matt nodded and wiped is eyes, as he turned away, embarrassed. He shouldn't have done something so stupid. He couldn't just go around and kill people or threaten to kill people. That was not who he was. It never has been. He hated killing, he hated hurting and only does so if he must. How come he became this way he wondered.

'I'm sorry.' He softly spoke, mostly to Greg, which in his feeling was the boss.

'It's okay. Just don't ever do that again. What would have happened if we shot you and then found Sam? He'll kill us.' Greg smiled encouraging and matt chuckled.

'he won't kill you' Matt chuckled again. 'He probably torture you first.' He spoke before slowly walking to the car. Ready to go and find Sam.

Wordy and Greg smiled. Ed still looked angry. He couldn't understand that guy.

'What's up Ed?' Wordy questioned after he noticed Ed's staring.

'I don't know. I just… I just don't get him. He's been away for three years, pretending to be dead. Having no contact whatsoever with Sam. And now he's back, and suddenly he's all worried and angry.'

Wordy nodded. He understood Ed. Most people didn't understand Ed, all they saw was a harsh, angry leader. Few only knew he had an big heart. even fewer knew he really, sincerely cared about his team. He really cared about Sam. And anyone that would hurt one of them, would be in big trouble. Real big trouble. They only med Matt. They barely even knew him, of course Ed couldn't really trust him. Couldn't understand why this young boy, had hurt their friends feelings so bad.

'I know Ed, but he cares about Sam a lot. He's his best friend. Doing what Matt had to do back then was the hardest thing you can imagine. I sincerely doubt he wanted it, but he did it for the right reasons. And now he's back, hoping to be able to see Sam, as for once he isn't in danger and looks what happened. He is worried, and angry at himself for letting this happen. For causing this as he says himself. He's beating himself up on the inside. We need to help him, because I believe letting him go free will cause another moment like this. We can't have him killing this Nathan guy.' He paused a moment. 'Not before we've got the change anyway.' He smiled. 'Now let's do our job and get this sick bastard, before he got another change to torture Sam.'

'Yeah.' Ed smiled. 'Let's do our job.'

Both walked towards the car. 'Spike, what we've got?' Ed asked quickly.

'Three locations, all across town. All free, apart and big. Could be any of them.' Spike answered.

'Damnit, Danny said anything else?' Ed asked.

'Nope, except that Nathan rather kills his prisoners than frees them.'

'So we need to go slow and soft, understood.' Ed told the team.

'Alright.' Greg spoke up. 'We're calling the other teams to help search, team 3 and 4 are working today. They will take to off the places. We'll cover the other one. Which one were choosing? What kind of places are there?'

'Let's see. We've got an old country house. An closed factory and a modern villa.'

'Not the Villa, I doubt they're there.' Jules spoke up.

'I agree. So the country house or the factory.' Greg wondered.

'Factory.' Matt gave. 'during army training we sometimes used factories to train. It was quiet, big and hardly ever anybody could hear us.'

'Factory it is. Spike give the locations to me and the team, Ed call Winnie tell her to hot call the available teams for the other two locations, than go over the tactical plan. Wordy, Leah, Matt get me all the information you can find on this factory. Let's go people, let's go.' Greg ordered before turning towards the car.

…..

Matt stared out of the window again. Simply watching into the nothing… again. They just went over the strategy plan, decided what to do when they arrived at the scene. Matt had helped, he still knew pretty some of his army training. And I could be quiet an advance at this moment. He talked with Ed about the strategy. Talked about what to do, when to do it and how to save Sam.

The drive was long, at least It felt long in Matt's mind. He couldn't help but wonder if the car could go harder. He thought about sighing dramatically, but before he could he was shaking because of his ringing phone. He noticed it to Wordy, which told Spike to put the call over the headphones. Before Matt answered the call.

'Matt Whitlock' He answered shortly, already expecting who was calling him.

'Matthew, nice to chat once again. Nathan here.' The happy voice came over the comms.

Matt didn't respond, just growled.

'Well enough chattered then I suppose, let's go back to business. I am going to put the phone on a hold, so you can't say anything. But, of course you can listen. I just inserted the drugs and he looks like he's sleeping now.'

Matt again didn't respond, not expecting Sam or Nathan would hear him.

'Sammy' Nathan asked nicely. 'Sammy listen to me.' Nathan laughed softly.

'Let's go back to the war, Sam'

Matt knew what was going on. Sam's mind would go back to war, back to hell, back to pain and sadness. Back to the place he had escaped.

'Can you see the war, Sammy? Can you see it destroy everything around you. All the people. All your friends. All the hurt, the red sands, the burning houses.'

Nathan was quiet for a moment, not talking. Letting Sam slowly go to the place he was describing. Matt couldn't talk, couldn't form a word. Not because Sam nor Nathan could hear him, but because slowly his mind went back to the same place.

'Can you feel the burning Sam? Can you see the fire?' Nathan asked. Still in a soft, pleading voice. Matt could hear Sam shift slowly, trying to move. Away from something? Someone? He didn't know.

'Run Sam Run!' Nathan whispered, most likely responding to the movements Sam was making. Sam moved again, doing just like Nathan told him, because maybe in his mind it sounded like an good and valet idea.

Suddenly Nathan turned Sam's thoughts around. As he started to talk about something Matt knew was worse than the burning desert.

'There is no were to run Sam. Can't you feel it following you? You killed people Sam. You killed every friend you've have. Matt, the team, the SRU. Death, Death, Death. They want revenge Sam. They want to hurt you. See them Sammy, let them hurt you.'

Matt only hated Nathan more at this moment. Making Sam believe he killed everyone he cares about. The team, the SRU, him. Sam didn't kill anyone, but in his mind he did. He was killing them en they were hurting him. Matt almost jumped when Sam screamed. Sam creamed out in pain. Loud, harsh, gurgling. It made Matt want to puke.

Matt could still hear Sam move, softly this time, breathing harder. Nathan laughed and smiled. Matt could feel him smiling trough the phone.

'Don't cry Sammy, don't cry.' Nathan whispered loud enough for Matt and the team to hear it, but hardly hard enough for Sam to hear it.

After some moments of silence Sam started to breath harsh, making a choking sound. Choking on his own tear, on his own thoughts, his own hell.

Nathan started laughing again. . 'feel the intensity. They hate you Sammy. They hate you. The want you to die. To do it yourself. To break you sole. To kill you. No body, no feeling, no sole. Die Sam, just die.'

Matt face became red from anger. His thoughts were running through his head. Thoughts about how to kill Nathan in the worst ways possible. Wordy noticed him to calm down, trying to sooth him again. He probably feared another 'bad decision' from his side. The entire team most likely thought he was going to shot Nathan on the spot. Matt had told he wouldn't. but he wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't wanted to die. Didn't wanted to kill. He just wanted Sam to be save. He just had to hold on to that. No killing. Nathan will be punished. Sam will be saved.

Matt smiled and nodded towards Wordy. Telling him that way that he wasn't going to do something stupid. Wordy smiled back, a rather small smile, but still a smile.

Matt feared for Sam. Nathan was making him believe he killed Matt again, the team, the SRU everyone. 'Killing' Matt already nearly killed Sam. What would happen if he really started to believe this?

'Don't die, Sammy' Matt whispered so softly nobody could hear him. 'Don't believe him. It isn't true. I live, we all live. You must live Sam. Please.'

Suddenly he heard Sam's soft voice over the comms. 'stop' Sam begged. 'Please stop and let me die.'

Nathan laughs again. A harsh, sarcastic laugh. 'You will die, Sammy. Not long now. But you don't want me to do it, don't you? You need to do it yourself. You want to do it yourself. Die, just die. Let yourself die Sammy.

'No, no,no' Matt begged. 'Don't die. Don't die, don't believe this.'

But Sam couldn't hear him. Sam didn't know he was begging. Didn't know his friends, his family was alive. Didn't know he shouldn't die. He deserved life. He deserved fun and love. He didn't deserve this. God he seriously didn't deserve this.

'I want to die.' Sam's soft voice could be heard. 'I want to die.'

Matt could see Wordy and Ed in the front starting to shake their head in pain and sadness. He thought he could hear Jules cry softly. He knew there were tears in his eyes. He knew how he felt, he had a feeling how they did. Sam was their friend as well. 'Don't do this Sam, don't do this.'

But again Sam didn't listen, didn't hear him. And Matt's hard broke the moment Sam's next words left his mouth.

'I deserve to die.'

…

**So, I truly hoped you liked it an can forgive me for not posting for such a long time. I've now got more time, so update within the week, maybe even quicker. **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. I really want to know what you think about the story and the chapter? **

**Greetz, **

**Nadya **


	10. killed, by staying alive

**Heey all, here is the next chapter! **

**This almost the last chapter, but I am thinking about writing a sequel. Would you all like a sequel? In a week I am going to Indonesia, to do community work, so you have to wait for about 6 weeks. But when I am home again I will write a lot of stories, maybe including this sequel. **

**Thanks a lot for the reviews. I loved them so much. **

**Enjoy reading, **

…

Sam was living in a unbelievable world, everything around him was turning, swaying, hurting sometimes. He hardly knew where he was, what he was doing, or what he was or should be thinking. All he could remember was the fact that he wanted to die, that he deserved to die.

Vaguely he could hear Nathan talking to him or to someone else. He didn't really care. It wasn't his business anymore anyway. Is only business was to find a way to leave this life, to save everyone around him.

That's what he needs to do. That's what he deserves anyway.

…..

'I deserve to die.'

The moment Sam spoke those words Ed knew they were screwed. Not a little bit screwed, but really, totally, utterly screwed. They were on their way to save Sam. Save Sam from that sick bastard of a Nathan. That wasn't going to be so hard. They had to make an good entry. Make sure to shoot, or if necessary arrest., Nathan and his men and in the meantime make sure Sam wouldn't get hit or hurt. Sounds a bit hard? Yes of course, it was, but still that wasn't going to be the hard part. Now Sam had spoken those words, the hard past was going to make sure Sam didn't believe those words anymore. That Sam didn't believe he had to die anymore.

That, that was going to be the hardest task they most likely ever had. Not only was Sam stubborn, but he also blamed himself for everything, whether he could have done something to prevent it or not. Last: Sam was made to believe this. Nathan had used drugs to make Sam believe. It most likely had been his plan to make Sam think this the moment he inserted the drugs. Maybe even sooner. Maybe all along.

Nathan would know that letting Sam kill himself would hurt Matt more than killing Sam with his own bare hands. Ed looked towards Matt, who was staring with wide eyes, his mouth hanging upon a bit. That moment Sam stopped talking en Nathan came on line again.

'Yes Sammy, you do deserve to die.'

They heard Nathan laugh softly.

'So Matt, wasn't that fun? Now I am sorry but I have to go. You've heard Sam. You've heard what he deserves didn't you? haft to make sure he gets everything he wants. I need to give him his last wish.'

That moment the line dropped. Nobody spoke. Nobody probably breathed. Matthew hadn't responded, nor to Sam's statement, nor to Nathan's words. For a moment Ed was afraid Matt would end up in shock, but luckily he suddenly moved and turned towards Ed and Wordy.

'We need to hurry.' He spoke.

Ed agreed, hell, most likely everybody agreed.

'We'll be there in ten.' Spike told him.

'That's not fast enough. We need to go faster!' he started to become angry, clearly, before calming down again. 'Sorry, can we go any faster?'

'We are doing our best.' Ed told him. He still felt a small harsh feeling against Matt. He understood the pain, but he was afraid of the fact that none of them knew what Matt was going to do. What his reactions were going to be. How he would respond, firstly to Sam and his current state of mind, and secondly to Nathan. They all saw what he had done with Danny Minks. And there was no way that could happen again. Still Ed didn't think they could pull Matt of this case neither. Yes of course legally they could. Matt was no constable. But there was no way Matt was going to leave this all on free will. The moment they kicked him out, he would go in by himself. And that might be even more dangerous than having him inside with them.

'We even need to be lucky that we chose the right place. Any word from the other teams? How do we even know we are on our way towards Sam? Yeah we've got an hunch. A big one. But still. What if we are wrong?'

'Matt calm down.' Greg told him. Ed totally agreed. 'The other teams are nearly at their scenes. If Sam is there they will, and I repeat myself, will find Sam. They will save him. But our hunch, as you call it, is a great hunch. You told us you used old factories during your military training. Nathan is a soldier. We are pretty much certain of that. So I've got a feeling we are going in good. That Sam will be in that factory. We just need to work hard to save Sam and make sure this Nathan ends up in jail.'

'I know.' Matt agreed. 'I feel it to, but still.. I am just worried.'

'We won't let Nathan hurt Sam, Matt, we won't let that happen.' Ed told him.

'It is not Nathan I am currently worried about killing Sam. I believe momentarily he is more than capable of doing it himself. I just want to be there before that happens' Matt brought out.

Ed sight. 'I know Matt, you want to hurry. So do we, but at this moment we can't. We are going as fast as possible. And I hear you bud, but still, at this moment freaking out isn't going to help. We need to be calm to save Sam. Understood?' Matt nodded. 'Alright entry plans. I want to go over them one more time.' Ed spoke before telling, showing and giving the plans ones more. Using the floor plans Spike had found for them.

Matt simply listened. He had already heard the entry plan and he never forgets one. That did the military for him, clearly. He still believed that maybe this all wasn't going to be enough. Sam wanted to die. How in the world where they supposed to make Sam stop believing this? What Nathan was doing was destroying Sam. Nod from the outside this time, but from the inside. Matt was never going to forgive himself if Sam killed himself because of this. That would mean Sam would die because of him. This was all his fault anyway. Right?

The team had told him it wasn't, but it was hard to stop thinking and believing that. So, no he wasn't going to let Sam die. By his own hands or by Nathans. Sam will survive, no matter what.

Just hold on a little longer Sam, don't do it. Just please, please wait for me, us he meant, and let us save you, Matt thought as he kept praying everything would turn out alright.

…

Sam was still staring into the darkness. The drugs were starting to get off. But he was still very, well you could say high. Nathan spoke and moved around him but he hardly noticed. He was so wrapped up in his own world. He knew he had to die, he certainly knew that. But how? And when? He wasn't sure yet.

Thankfully the drugs weren't giving him hallucinations anymore. Or less at least. He didn't know how much longer he could have survived in that dessert. With all the people he had killed, or would kill by staying alive. It would break him. Drag him into darkness and hell. A place he knew he deserved but he agreed he had to be the person who send him there. For real this time.

Nathan was doing his best trying to reach Sam. But it was really really hard to make Sam respond. Only after a few hard hits and words Sam moved towards him and started to notice him. Nathan smiled. His plan was going according to plan, according to his wants and expectations. Well, for this moment. He took Sam's hands and smiled at him.

'You deserve to die Sam, you need to die right now. So let's make sure that happens.'

Nathan reached behind him and took a gun. It was rather small, but definitely big enough to make Sam kill himself. The look in Sam's eyes told Nathan everything really was going according to his plans. Sam believed he had to die, he was going to kill himself in his intoxicated state and Nathan would film it. He would send to tape towards Matthew in a little bit. Before dropping off the body as well. He simply couldn't help but smile. This way he was going to have everything he wanted.

First Sammy was going to die. Not by his, Nathans, hands, but by his own. This was going to be quite a shock for the people around him. His family, his friends, Matt. Definitely Matt. Secondly: there was nothing Matt or anybody else could do about it. Nathan was in control. And ow, how much he loved it to be in control. It was like a drug to him. Just as the violence. To him it was quiet amazing to kill, hurt and destroy a person. In the exact way he wanted it. He chose, he decided, he planned. It all depended on him. That's what he liked.

Third: matt was going to be destroyed this way as well. Nathan had lost so much because of that sick son of a b tch. This was the perfect way of revenge. Matt wouldn't be able to live with the quilt, or the pain. And of course Nathan was going to remind him of what happened to Sam daily. There would be now escape for Matt. Nathan could only hope Matt would kill himself quickly as well. Only than Nathan had reached his final goal. He smiled when Sam reached forward and took the gun. Holding it in his hands for a moment. Looking at the gun, touching it. He nodded towards Nathan en Nathan nodded back. A simple agreement was made.

'It's okay.' Nathan spoke.

Again Sam nodded. As he placed to gun against his temple.

…

The anticipating SRU team reached to the Deserted factory. All holding there hearth Sam hadn't done anything stupid yet. All praying they were in time to save Sam from a terrible death, an undeserved death. A certain death.

They had to save him and bring him back to where he belonged. Back to the light, removed out of the darkness that was filling the spaces around him. Trying to break him. To destroy him as a human being. He had to see the light at the end of the tunnel, he had to see the good side of life. Not the lies, hatred and guilt Nathan had planned in his mind, and of course he should be lessoned of all the guilt Sam had created for himself. No one deserved that, and Sam did neither. The fact that Sam had decided he deserved to die, couldn't be only caused by Nathan. There had to be some of it, some of the feelings or the thought in his head and hearth . the fact that Sam believed in such things had shocked the team. It made them think that if they were such great profilers, as they believed they were. How come they hadn't seen this? Why hadn't they noticed it and done something? It was a question they all wanted the answer from, but they doubted the answers would come or be satisfying at all. Anyway at this current timing they had no time for these unanswered questions.

Greg was staring at his team as they arrived. They were all different. All very different kind of persons, kind of minds. Ed was barking orders, being strong and confident. But Greg could see through the tough exterior. He could see the worries, could see the pain in his best friends eyes. He might look so confident and sure of saving. But he, as well feared being too late. Ed might not show it all the time but he cared about the members of his team, just as much as the rest. They were his family as well. To Ed it seems like every member was his responsibility and he was supposed to help, protect and take care of them. Ed barks hushed the team into action.

Wordy and Leah took the back side of the building. Breaking the door and storming in that way. Making sure none of the people inside would be able to leave nor hurt anyone of the team or Sam. Wordy looked certain of himself and the situation. Greg always believed Wordy had the biggest heart. the biggest believe in people. He helped everyone, whether he knew them or not. Wordy's hearth contained so much love and believe in what's good. If Greg needed to be certain about a case or himself, turning towards Wordy was the best medicine and insurance he could get. Greg knew Wordy believed they were going to save Sam. Even though the rest of the team had doubts, Wordy stayed confidant and good. ready to protect his team and save his friend. The look in Wordy's eyes made Greg smile. He just had to believe in it, wordy would say.

Leah was a special girl. She had helped great after Lewis died. Doing the right thing, only using a little wrong way in the first place. Everything she did, she does to do the right thing. She always, absolutely always means the best. Whether it is said or done the right way. Still Leah was also a logical person. Not only was she good a tactical, but she also knew exactly how to choose between doing to the right thing and the possible thing. She could be objective. She had words of wisdom. And she was the only person of the team that had an clear head as she split her personal feelings and her work related feelings. Greg knew he could trust Leah in this matter. She might be the one and only that could keep them all save.

Spike and Jules took the upside of the building. Going in from the top and surprising the team that way. They had made an stealth approach. So most likely Nathan not anyone that worked for him knew they were there. Greg was proud of his two officers. Both he had great friendships with their victim. They all were close to Sam, but Jules and spike( excepting Matt) were the closest ones. The fact that they could still do their job made Greg proud and happy. Still he knew what was behind those calm figures. Fear. Unreliable, unstoppable fear. The feared what was going on and what was going to happen. They could hide it very well, but Greg knew that the moment Sam was save they could easily break down.

Jules was tough, the toughest person Greg had ever seen. She was much tougher than any other boy or man on the SRU. That was exactly the reason why she made it to Team One as the first lady ever. And how she became one of the best snipers in the entire SRU. Not only was she great at tactical and sniping's, she was also his best student for negotiating. She knew how to connect to the victims and the subjects, she knew how the feel the same they felt, how to see their side of the story, their reflections. She could show them she understood. She could talk them out of stupid actions or ideas just by showing them how she managed to be alright in that kind of situations.

But everyone head their weak link. Jules cared to much. Just like he did, Greg thought sadly. Both of them couldn't let go. Once they connected, once they saved they kept thinking, changing, working. They needed to be sure there choses were correct and their 'persons' were save and sound. She immediately connected to Sam. Greg had noticed it. Maybe because she, as well, could see his broken exterior. His broken soul. She and Sam became friends and lovers once, but thankfully for the teams an theirs sakes that had ended. Still she had never been able to remove her friendship with Sam and her feelings for him. Greg wondered that if they lost Sam, they might lose Jules as well. He wasn't sure. But he certainly didn't fell for het tough act. She needed Sam and she needed people to be there for here. Even if she didn't really wanted it at moments.

Spike was a great friend to Sam as well, but was quite a different story. After losing Lew Spike had broken a little. He had been lost and had wondered around in the darkness. He had been healed by time, the team and Sam. During those long nights and those moments with Sam they had become the best of friends. Greg knew Spike had been jealous of Matt. He had noticed it, rather a little too late, but still he noticed. Greg knew Spike was afraid of losing Sam as well. Just like he lost Lew. They had all lost Lew of course, but to Spike this might feel like a déjà vu. Greg wondered what Spike exact feelings against or for Matt were at the moment. He seemed fine and friend. But Greg wondered I've Spike would blame Matt if Sam would die. Or if he would blame himself, which would be a big problem too.

Greg knew that once this was over and they had saved Sam, Spike would have the team to become angry, hurt or feared. At the moment all Spike did was keep going on. Keep holding on that little bit of hope that everything was going to be alright. That they were in time and knew and could do enough to save their friend. When Sam would be save Spike could return the favour Sam had done for him when Lew died. Bring him back into the light. Give him love, family and friendship. Greg trusted Spike to do his job, he really did, but it was hard for him to see what was beneath his skin and what was going on inside that head of his. Still real fear wasn't in Greg's mind. Spike wouldn't make bad decisions. Never.

By this time four of his team had left, they all made a stealth approach and would go in on the exact same time. Once Ed gave the order. Greg wanted to take his own gun and several other from the truck, when he noticed he couldn't find it. For a moment he wondered in the truck in panic. Before suddenly a hand came in view, holdings his gun and giving it to him. Greg looked up into the now familiar face. Matt.

Greg had no idea what he had to do with Matt. Tacking him of the case was no option. But keeping him on it didn't sound like a great plan neither. Greg didn't wanted the same thing to happen what happened with Danny Minsk. That was not how they worked and he wouldn't allow it. But unfortunately Greg couldn't look in Matt's mind. For some reason none of his profiling skills worked on Matt. Al he could see was dedication and a little hint of fear, which wasn't really strange.

Greg didn't know if Matt agreed with the plan or if Matt had created new once for himself. For a moment Greg looked Matt over. He was wearing several guns, SRU clothes and multiple weapons. Matt was walking danger. Again Greg wondered if he should take Matt of the case, but he feared that doing such a thing would be the trigger into something way worse. He needed to know what Matt's current mind-set was, otherwise letting him go inside that building could be the stupidest chose he ever made.

Greg looked towards Matt once again. His harsh and angry exterior made him shiver. He still wondered about what the right chose was.

'What?' Matt whispered after a moment. He hadn't watched Greg but he knew Greg watched him. Clearly.

'Matt' Greg started. 'Can you be objective? Can you do this?'

Matt looked at him strangely. 'What do you mean?'

Greg sighed, hating to bring this up again. 'We saw what happened before. Can you leave that behind you. Can you leave that mind-set behind you? To save Sam?'

'Saving Sam is my only goal.' Matt insured Greg.

'Still Matt, on what causes? We are not going in there to kill. We are going in there to save and arrest. This isn't your scene. This isn't the dessert. You can't kill Nathan because you believe he deserves it. Sam's saving is our greatest priority. I want you to take Sam and yourself out of there as soon as possible.' Greg demanded.

'You don't trust me.' Matt stated, looking a bit angry and surprisingly a bit hurt.

'I do Matt, I do. But he need to be sure I can put my trust in you. Is this the right chose Matt? Is trusting you and believing you the right chose?' Greg asked softly.

Matt smiled. 'Yes Greg it is. I won't let you down. There is only one captain. Only one boss. I do what you ask me as long as Sam will be safe and sound. Everything for Sam, not me. I guess we will all deal with Nathan in the long run. Priorities, I agree.' Matt smiled and Greg returned the smile. Maybe he could trust Matt.

'Alright team.' Greg spoke. 'Let's head in and save our boy. Show him he has plenty to live for. Eddie?'

'Copy' he could hear from several members.

'alright team..' Ed started as they all raised their guns an moved towards the factory, their subject and their clearly lost brother.

…

'I die.' Sam stated.

Nathan nodded and smiled. 'Yeah Sam you should die. You deserve that don't you?'

Sam agreed and asked. 'When?'

'In a minute.' Nathan told him and he released Sam's cuffs and freed Sam as he turned around to get his camera. Sam stood still. He suddenly noticed he an Nathan weren't the only once in the room. Several of Nathans man were there, al quiet persons, with no voices, opinions nor emotions .not on their face, nor in their heads most likely. Sam didn't knew them. He didn't really cared. What would it matter? What would they care if he killed himself? They believed it was the right chose too he supposed. Sam looked at the gun again. It could kill him easily. If he did it in the right way of course.

Inside himself he laughed a little. Guns were really his thing. Really his life. It was what he was good in. It was quite funny that in the end he would kill himself with once again a gun. How many times after Matt's dead had he tried to kill himself with a gun. Everytime his team had stopped him. Why? Why had they done that if Sam deserved to die in the end? He knew they had missed Matt. Sam knew they knew he had killed Matt but still, why did they stop him from killing himself than?

Killing Matt had been hard, really, terribly hard. Sam still didn't knew how he survived that. But it was a happy thought that it turned out that he hadn't killed Matt. Yet, he meant. His living would kill Matt after all. But his military team had been devastated in the beginning, just like him. And he had done and said thing because of that mind-set and those feelings. Matt shouldn't have died that day. Why did he have to anyway?

Ow right, because of Denzil. Because Matt found out about him and his plans. He had to be stopped, so Matt told others what he saw. And because of that they had to 'kill' Matt and cause al this problems. It wasn't fair of them to do that. Of Denzil he meant. Denzil deserved to die for what he did to Matt, to him and to every person that knew Matt. Thankfully Denzil was already dead. But Nathan wasn't…

Nathan cleared worked with or for Denzil, because Nathan was doing all this out of Denzil's name. right? He did all of this to hurt Matt, to hurt him, t hurt the team. Because somehow he hated Matt and Nathan somehow said that Matt destroyed everything for him. The only way Matt could have done this was if it had something to do with Denzil.

Anyway Sam didn't really like it that anyone hurt Matt, his SRU team, his military team or his family. He was saving them by killing himself, but he couldn't die yet if another danger to his friends and family was still alive. Nathan might work for Denzil, or worked. Nathan had hurt, no was hurting everyone around him, and after Sam died there was nothing he could do to stop Nathan. Sam hated that idea.

Sam needed to die, clearly, because that was the only way, but Nathan needed to die as well.

Sam looked at the gun in his hands and wondered if Nathan knew what he was thinking at this exsact moment. That Sam was planning his death? Suddenly the gun and his know owned freedom weren't simply ways to kill himself, but also to protect his team, friends and family. By releasing Sam, Nathan had released his own death. Because Sam wasn't leaving this place, death or alive, without killing Nathan first.

Nathan putted the camera on, pointing it at Sam and walked towards him.

'Time to die, Sammy. That's what you deserve. Because if you won't people around will kill you, or you will kill them. Could you live with that quilt. With the fact that people constantly die because of you?'

And you. Sam thought. But he did agree partly.

'You can protect everyone Sam. Jut by simply take the gun I gave you and once again put it against you temple. Than all you need to die is shout. Than you are saved from the pain and quilt. You will be save. And your team, and Matt they will be save, because you can no longer hurt them. Do you deserve to die Sam? Is doing that the right thing?' Nathan questioned.

'Yes.' Sam answered. 'I deserve, I should die.' And the gun was against his temple, ready to kill him.

This caused Nathan to smile again and Sam couldn't wait to slam this smile of his face. He thought it was quite funny that he was the only one in here that knew what he was going to do.

'then die Sammy. Die. Kill yourself. Pull the trigger and be released. Die Sammy!' Nathan nearly screamed as he came really close to Sam.

This was a stupid chose, and both of the men knew it in that little second. Sam gabbed forward with one hand, lowering the other, still holding the gun without using it. He took Nathans arm and in an instant he turned Nathan around. Sam holded Nathan's hand in a painful way able to break it within seconds, or less. Sam dropped the gun and putted his now free hand against Nathan's neck. Sam knew he could kill him by just pressing, breaking and turning the right way. He had learned that during his time in the military. Nathan had tried to stop him, but Sam had always been very quick. It had always been a hard time for people to stop him.

Nathan couldn't move because of the painful way his arm was pulled. Al he did was let out a painful, stupid and hurt howl. The men around Sam and Nathan wanted to interfere. Sam knew they were going to shout him, but he didn't care. He had to die anyway. He just needed to make sure that Nathan was faster than him.

That moment everything went into slow motion. For Sam at least. HE saw several men scream at him, several man were pointing their guns on Sam's head and hearth. Ready to kill Sam in an instant. Sam didn't hear them. He didn't hear anything anymore. Sam's pressure on both Nathan's arm and neck grew, as he was starting to kill him. That moment the place seemed to explode. From behind him, in front of him and un top of him people came in. His team. Matt. Sam immediately knew. Sam wasn't sure whether he was happy to see them or not. The team shot down, or took down every guy around him. Good Sam thought. Now he had a little more time to kill the screaming man in his arms. He started to turn Nathans neck when a sudden sound reached Sam's ears. They were words. Words formed by familiar voices.

'Stop!'

Sam stopped a little, still putting pressure. He looked up into the shocked eyes of his teammates and his best friends.

'It's okay Sam.' Ed stated. 'You're save. You can let go and we will take him. It's okay.' He spoke while keeping an save distant between him and Sam.

Sam shook his head. Why didn't they understand him? He was doing this, all of this for them.

'He deserves to die. Just like me.' HE whispered. But the team listened, and Sam liked that. A little.

Ed shook his head sadly, which made Sam annoyed. Yes he did.

'I will kill him.' Sam told them with a little smile around his lips. That moment several members of his team had to bring their gun up and aim it at their friend and brother.

Shit. They all thought.

…

Wordy had watched this situation unfold. He had seen it all happen as he know pointed his gun at Sam. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. They expected that they would have to negotiate Sam out of killing himself, not out of killing his attacker Nathan as well. This was all a mess. Now they had to keep their guns at Sam, while all Sam did was hurt the one that hurt him. It wasn't right.

When Sam had told them he deserved to die, and Nathan deserved to die as well, Ed had shook his head. Which had clearly pissed Sam of. Wordy knew Ed didn't meant it like that. He shook his head because Sam told him himself had to die.

The latterly threat Sam had thrown out, was even worse.

'I will kill him.'

Damn. They had to stop Sam quickly, before they were all forced to kill the one they've been looking for all this time. Wordy also doubted Matt would let them. Matt hadn't pulled his gun, he was watching all of them confused and a bit angry. He looked shocked by what had occurred.

'Sam, listen to me.' Greg spoke suddenly. 'You don't have to do this.'

'Yes I do.'

'Why?' Greg questioned.

'Because he deserves to die.' Sam spoke with a exaggerating sigh. Like he had told that several times before.

'We can take him Sam, he will go to jail for a long long time. You don't need to kill him. We are here for you. The help you. Nathan won't be able to hurt you anymore. I know you don't want that right? No more hurt? You believe he deserves to die because he hurt you so bad? But he won't be able to hurt you anymore. We take him and you will be save.' Greg told Sam.

'It's not me I am worried about.' Sam replied.

That moment Wordy knew they were all reading Sam wrong. Sam wasn't doing this as a revenge action. He was doing this to protect. Protect others. He had to kill Nathan so he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else anymore. Wordy doubted the rest noticed it. Maybe they did, but he wasn't sure. So he chose to talk to Sam himself.

'He won't hurt us, Sam.' Wordy spoke. This got Sam's attention. Like Wordy expected and had hoped. ' If you let him go, we will bring him to jail, and he will not be able to hurt anyone anymore. Never again. We all will be save. Just like you.'

Sam seemed to doubt for a moment. Before shaking his head.

'You can't be sure.' He told wordy. Looking right into Wordy's eyes.

Wordy looked him over. Sam looked terrible. His feet were bleeding. He was beat up, his arm lay open en showed the word Nathan had carved. Sam's arm was big and blue. His hand was wrapped up and he was covered in bruised and carves. But still he had been able to stand. To fight, to almost kill Nathan before they arrived. Adrenaline was a wonderful thing. And Sam was a very strong person. Very, very strong. Wordy doubted h would be able to do anything after what Sam been trough.

'We will do our best. But what could Nathan do to us? Sam? Or to Matt?'

'He already forced Matt to die.' Sam spoke before looking towards Matt. Matt smiled and shook his head. 'That was Nathans fault right?'

'I don't know. Let's ask Nathan himself. Just relieve the pressure a little bit. So he can talk alright?' wordy said.

Sam nodded an released Nathan a little bit. Not enough to give him any power, but enough for him to speak.

'Why did you do all this Nathan?' Wordy asked. Nathan didn't spoke. Sam kicked him hard, causing Nathan to cream.

'You better talk, because at the moment you are in quite a dangerous environment.' Ed told Nathan, who sighed. 'He might release you if you talk.'

Nathan sighed again and weighed his options.

'I knew Denzil. I was part of that deal.' Nathan spoke speaking directly to Matt. 'You messed that deal up. I would have had millions. I would be the strongest.'

'He sold them to Kasif as well.' Matt told him. 'He sold them to the army and the enemy.'

'I know.' Nathan grumbled. 'That was my fucking plan. I've knew Denzil since I was little. We were friends. He made this wonderful gun and wanted to be rich. I know that selling it simply to the military wouldn't bring a lot of money in the game. Quite a lot, but not enough. But selling it to two parties would. We would have been rich. And you destroyed that Matt. You destroyed my chance to have everything I ever wanted. To be the person I wanted to be. Rich, powerful, great. This is all your fault. But no, you had to see what happened. You had to tell people. You had to destroy my plan.'

'So you are Nathan Tomingson, are you?' Wordy asked. He was pretty sure and knew Matt already knew the answer.

'Yes, I am. I'm a general and because Matt had to open his big mouth I of course heard wat was going on. I am the one that gave Denzil the chance to leave this mess. But we were both destroyed. He had no money anymore. Not enough security, so one of his enemies killed him. He was my friend. So I had to take revenge on his death and my loss of money. I had to destroy you too! Matt! I will kill you, all of you!' Nathan screamed.

Sam kicked him harsh.

'Sam don't.' Wordy spoke, but Sam didn't listen. He kept kicking and hurting Nathan. 'Sam?'

'haven't you hear him. He is going to hurt you all, he is going to kill you all. I have to stop him, before he makes the darkness come back.' Sam spoke quickly. Full of anger, hatred and fear.

That moment they all knew Sam was still hallucination a bit. He was still into the mind-set Nathan had brought him, only it had turned against Nathan now. Sam just wanted to save them.

Wordy took a deep breath, walked a bit closer and spoke. 'Sam, do you trust me? Do you care about us? Will you believe me?' Sam nodded after a few moments. 'When Nathan is with us he won't be able to hurt us anymore. If you give him to me I personally will make sure he goes the worst, biggest and safest prison in Canada. He will never speak to you, or me, or any of us again. He will never see us. Never hear us. And we will never see him again. We will all be save. I promise you that, Sam. I promise you on my live. We all do. Because you know, deep within, that you can trust us and that killing him isn't the right thing to do. He will be punished and we will be save. But not if you kill him sam, If you kill him now this will never end. Never. if you let us handle it, we will take care of him and everything will be alright. Save that's what you want right? We will be save. Jules and spike will be save. I will be save. Leah will be save. Ed and sarge will be save. And Matt, Matt most certainly will be save.'

Sam looked at all of them and they nodded. Was Wordy right he wondered? Would they be save.

'You can go see for yourself if he is in jail if you want. And you can trust us, Sam? Don't you always trust us, love us, care for us?'

Sam slowly nodded. 'You promise? All of you? You'll be save? No more darkness and fire and fear?' a tear fall from Sam's eyes and all of there hearths shattered with the pain and fear they saw.

'No more darkness, no more fire, no more fear. We promise. He is going to jail, promise. We will be save, promise. Trust me Sam, trust us, please?' Wordy spoke.

The moment Sam agreed with them was clearly seen by every member. Sam's eyes became bright again. Sam let go of Nathan and pushed him towards the team and the ground. Greg, ed and Spike could barely catch him and put him in cuffs. Sam turned around to grab the gun when Nathan fought lose and screamed.

'You deserve to die. Darkness is coming and they will die because of you. It is you fault.' The team tried to stop him, but he kept screaming. 'You will kill them, so DIE!' Then Matt kicked him hard in the face, most likely breaking his jaw, but sending him into silence and unconscious. When they turned around there hearth fell.

Sam had took the gun from the ground. (where somehow they hadn't seen it) Tears were forming in his eyes and they could see the hallucinations grow. Sam wasn't there anymore. What feared them the most was the fact that Sam had put the gun against his hearth. Hoping to find an escape out of the darkness he was once again thrown in. pain and fear had took him and know the team knew what the reason was Sam wanted to die. Because he believed in the end, Sam would be the reason they would die. They would hurt. Nathan wasn't the only danger. He was the biggest danger himself.

They were all screaming, that moment Sam formed his hands around the trigger. Planning to push it and kill himself instantly.

….

**You liked it? **

**I really really hoped you liked it. The next chapter will be on tomorrow or the day after. i think it will be the last chapter ****. But I am thinking about writing a sequel? Would any of you like that? **

**I am leaving for Indonesia in two days, but won't leave you all with an open end. Next chapter will be up soon. **

**I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please please please review. I love them still. **

**Loves, **

**Nadya **


	11. Nothing without

**Hey all, **

**So here is it, the last and final chapter. I want to thank everybody for reading my story, for review, or favouring. I loved all of them. Because several people told me they liked it, I am planning on writing a sequel. You will read more about it at the end of this chapter! **

**Enjoy reading this chapter! **

**Loves, **

**Nadya **

…**. **

Sam had felt himself change while talking to Wordy. Greg hadn't seen what he was thinking, why he was doing this. But Wordy did. Wordy had showed him they understood. Wordy had forced Sam into trusting them. All of them. Wordy was right tough. Sam did trust them, with his life he had said before. And it was the truth. But he wasn't doing that because he didn't trust them, but because he was protecting them. Even though Wordy had promised him they would all be save, Sam just couldn't be sure. He just kept believing Nathan might hurt them in some way. And his friends, his family shouldn't be hurt, He loved them too much for that.

So maybe, just maybe he also had to stick around. Just to look out for them. To protect them. But doing that, staying alive didn't sound like a good idea neither. He deserved to die after all. He deserved to die. He wanted to die. He had to die. So staying around wasn't really a smart thing. Still Wordy had told them he would be save, they would be save. He had promised the darkness and the fire would go away. Sam really, really wanted that. So maybe he could trust Wordy, maybe he could trust his team and he could trust them to save him. He could always chose to die in a little while, right? If he still agreed to the fact that he was a danger to them.

So Sam had let Nathan go. He had pushed him, just because he hated Nathan and hoped he would hit the ground harsh. His team had took him ,unfortunately, even if it was only a bit and he still partly hit the ground. That moment Sam had turned around, to get the gun he had thrown on the ground. He wanted to give it to Wordy. Because Wordy promised to keep him save.

But, on that exact moment, that moment he touched the gun and felt it's strength, danger and death go through him, Nathan had spoken.

'You deserve to die. Darkness is coming and they will die because of you. It is you fault.' The team did try to stop him, but he kept screaming. 'You will kill them, so DIE!

And that moment Sam couldn't help but agree. The drugs still going through his feigns threw him back into darkness, into hell, into the dessert. He could see them al dying. Al screaming, all hurting. This was all his fault. They were going to die because of him and it made him hate himself. Even worse that when he believed he killed Matt. My fault, my faul, my fault he kept thinking. He was such an idiot for believing, just for a second, that he might be allowed to live.

He felt the gun. He felt his decision weigh hard on his hearth. But he knew it was the right decision. So he brought the gin towards his hearth. Because the weigh had to release his heart. his hearth should be freed of all this pain, all this darkness that was waving around his darkened hard. Barely beating, barely doing anything at all. Sam's hearth knew what was coming, and most likely decided that it was done. That it was fine and everything would be alright. Death couldn't be that bad, right?

Sam putted his finger on the trigger. He was ready and wanted to start pushing, so he would die in an instant, when suddenly:

'I've you die, I'll die.'

Sam stopped but didn't look. He just waited, just for a moment. Confused and shocked.

'I've you die, I'll die, Sammy.' Matthew spoke once again.

Sam shook his head, disagreeing. But Matt talked again.

'Yes Sam. I will. I've you push that trigger I will die. I don't know how, but I will. Cause Sam I will not live without you. Not anymore. I've did that long enough. It was my own stupid fault, or Denzil's, or Nathans, I don't care. But what I do know is that I will never, ever do that again. You are thinking about hell right? You feel like you are in a hell? Well the moment you die, I'll be in hell to. I will see the darkness and the fire and the pain. And I will die, just like you. Do you want that?'

Sam slowly shook his head.

'That is what's going to happen. Because it will hurt me so badly. I wouldn't want to live anymore. You say you want to protect us? By killing Nathan and by killing yourself? But killing yourself isn't going to save us Sam. It will be the reason why you'd kill us. Think of me Sam, think of your team. They love you, they are family. When you kill yourself you will kill them a bit to. Maybe not for real, but from the inside. Your boss, Greg? Will he still believe in himself? Will Ed still be confident, will he still believe he can protect everybody, including himself? Will Wordy still see good in people? Don't you think he will think he could have done more? And Spike? What about Spike Sam? After Lew died? You told me it destroyed him? And you, you helped him. But if you will die right now he will be right back at square one. Honestly I am not sure what would happen to him. No more laughing? No more happiness? No more friendships maybe? And Leah of course. You told me she was always fair and truthful. She's been the same during this case. Do you believe she won't be after you'd die? I think she will be more scared than ever. He only just begun, but she will start doubting herself and this job. And last Jules. I know you love her. I think she loves you to. I think she will never love someone again. I think she will break and fall apart. No more sniping and negotiating. No more fierceness and sweetness at once. Just hurt and destroy.'

Matt breathed harshly.

'don't you see it Sammy? Dying will destroy them. You want to save them? Well good, but the only way to do that is by staying alive. I know you feel quilt, I know you feel pain. But we, we are you family and we will and we can help you. We can save you, Sam. But can you save us as well?' Matthew questioned.

Sam looked Matt right in the eye. He had come forward. Right in front of Sam. Not able to take the gun but clearly able to reach Sam. Reach his mind and his heart.

Greg wondered if all of them might underestimated Matthew's negotiating skills. The kid new what it was doing it seemed.

'Look at them, Sam. Look at us. What do you see?' Matthew guided Sam with his hand.

Sam followed like a good soldier. Followed because somewhere he believed this might be all true. His gaze came on his Boss. Greg smiled and nodded. Immediately taking the chance and the words.

'Matt is right Sam. You are like a son the me. You're family. You all are. But families can break. We have seen it more than once. We have seen how people break and fall apart. How families are hurting because of the loss of one. We might be strong, but we are not invincible. We can still hurt and fall apart. Especially if we lose one. Don't give us the change to do that. Be with our family again.'

Sam's gaze went to Ed. Ed looked certain and strict. But an loving feeling came from his eyes.

'we've worked so hard to save you Sam. We were all falling apart without you. Who could we harass? He could we rely on? Who could I rely on? I need you Sam. I might not like saying it but I do. You are my second. You are the one I trust. You are the one I believe in. I need you, just like we all do. Don't let yourself be taking away from us.'

Sam turned towards Leah. She had an big white smile on her face.

'you might don't know me yet Sam, but I think I know you. You are a saviour. A protector. You wouldn't let us fall. Let us break. Let us get hurt. You would take bullet for us every single day. With a smile and thumbs up. You would do that because you love us and we would do the same for you. You just need to see it. Right now we are doing that. We are saving you. Let us take the bullet this time. Let us take care of you. Put your trust in us Sam.'

Then Sam reached Wordy. A fatherly Smile on his lips, but a strength in his eyes.

'You know you can trust us. You know you can trust me. So many times we talked during this night phone calls. About Matt, about the team, about the cases. I helped you en you helped me. Were a team Sam. A wonderful team. During the night you wake me up but I don't care. Just like I don't care when one of my girls wake me up. I don't care because I love them, because I love you. Friendships last Sam. When my girls wake up, they mostly wake up because of a nightmare. A nightmare of people dying, of me dying. And every time I tell them that I won't die. Because daddy's got the bestest team in the world to protect him, just like daddy protest's them. And they don't need to fear the world. Because there are always could people, like me. Like you. To protect people that need to be protected. I've you make the chose to die. I won't be able to tell them that anymore. I can't lie to them, but good already dies because of bad. But not of good. because you are good Sam. You are good. and good needs to be there. To protect, to help, to save. Don't leave the innocent unprotected, Sam. Don't leave us unprotected. Don't leave at all.'

Jules spoke up next. For a moment Sam just looked at the girl he still loved. The wonderful woman that had made his days happy again.

'You are more than a friend to me Sam. Way more. In fact you were the only guy ever that didn't get scared because I always wanted to win. Because I was a cop, because I could beat him an shoot him in an instant. You were the first that looked behind that and just saw me. Because you knew that people build walls to prevent themselves from hurting. You could see trough mine. Sam, you are the most generous, loving, happiest soul I've ever med. You are brave, and handsome, and amazing. But don't spoil that. Don't leave me or us. There is so much you can do. There are so many people that still need to be saved and need to be helped. ''some people are helpless and need to be protected.'' That was you right? Are you going to leave them unprotected? Are you going to leave me while you know I need you around. Like you knew I liked you from the start, even though I didn't say so? I never stopped liking you. I never stopped needing you. I stopped seeing you. But every day at work I saw you, and I knew I was save and alright, because you were standing next to me. Please Sam stay the person that you are.'

At last he saw Spike. Spike didn't spoke at first. He just stared and nodded. Smiled and loved.

'Do you remember what you told me Sam? That day when I was being angry against Matt, because I was jealous? Jealous of the attention, jealous of your friendship, jealous because I didn't get Lew back. Do you remember how scared I was of losing you? What did you say to me? What did you tell me, Sam?'

Sam replied, but it was hardly a whisper.

'I'll never leave you, spike.' Sam spoke his exact words.

'Exactly, that's what you said. Are you going to break that promise? Are you going to leave me just like Lew did? Are you going to force to believe I've could have done more as well? Are you going to leave me all alone in my own misery. Even though you promised you would always be there? You are my best friend, mu closest family. Don't break that promise. Don't break us. Never leave me Sam? Promise to never leave me?'

Sam stayed silent again and turned his gaze back to Matt. His once lost brother.

'You are my brother Sam, my brother in arms and my brother in life. I need you. I can't go on without you. Neither can your team.' He breathed out softly. 'so Sam, are you going to leave our family? Will you let yourself be taken away from us? Won't you trust us? Will you leave all the innocents unprotected. Will you leave us unprotected? Won't you stay the amazing person you are? Will you break you promise and leave us? Will you let us down? Let us break, fall apart and die?' Matt used the words off the team.

Sam breathed harsh and shaking before shaking his head.

'I won't. I'll live.' He spoke as tears were falling from his eyes and he threw the gun to the other end of the room. Nobody went to grab it. They all went to Sam. As Sam broke down and fall on the ground. His adrenaline was done. He was hurting and he was broken but he was alive. And that was all that mattered. The team called for an ambulance. The told Sam to stay awake and hold on, and Sam did. Just like he promised.

He would live.

The team wouldn't lose a brother.

….

It had been three days. Three days since the found Sam. Three days since the team saw what Nathan had done to their friend en brother. Three days since Sam tried to kill Nathan right in front of them, Three days since they almost had to shoot their own best friend, three days since Sam wanted to die, three days since the talked him out of it.

Sam had been brought to the hospital. A place where the team had gave Sam to the doctors and nurses, to take care of him. By that time Sam had hardly been conscious anymore. But he had survived. That moment the doctor came out to tell them about their friend had ceased all the pain and fear that had been building inside their bodies and minds.

'Samuel is going to be alright.' The doctor told them. 'His wounds are pretty severe. He has an broken and dislocated arm. We've put it back in the place where it belongs en put a cast on it. His feet are badly burned. Fortunately this are only second degrees burns. They will go away. It might take a while an quite some training, but his feet will heal. The howl in his hands was thankfully not too big and hardly broke the bones. Some damage that has been made had been put back. The carvings on his arm unfortunately, won't go away. He will always see the scarves of it, but we believe that is liveable. HE was however dehydrated and a bit malnutrition. Thanks to the fluids and medicine we've got here, this as well will be alright. His blood did contain an drug, which we call Dianthirumus. It's highly illegal, but is known as used for torture in several African countries. It causes dreams, hallucinations, extreme delusions and sometimes even physical pain. As we speak the drugs are leaving his body. He will be back to normal in no time. The remaining scarves, bruises and wounds are thankfully minor and will go away over time. His body as I told you will be alright. His emotional state however gives us some doubts. I've heard he received them from torture? Well the fact that gives us worries is that he hardly been responding to anyone of the medical team. We think it might be good for him to talk to his friends in possibly to a shrink. Things like this don't go away overnight. I do know what your team does and therefor think it might be enough for him to see all of you. I certainly hope you can bring him back to the living.'

And they had. They had brought Sam back. The moment they had arrived at Sam's room, Sam had smiled and welcomed them. He hadn't really spoken yet, but he smiled and seemed happy and relieved that his team what with him. That Matt was with him. None of the members left that night. All staying to be there for Sam. To calm Sam the moment the nightmares begun. Unfortunately the nightmares didn't seem the stop of lesson much. Their heart broke once again of the pain Sam still felt every night. A pain that was hard to take away. But they would do it. They were his team. They were his family. And everything would be alright in the end.

…

Sam looked around Wordy's garden. It's been a week since he was saved. A week since the tortures he had to go through. Being in the Unfortunate pleasure of Nathan Tomingson. One who was spending his days now in one off the Military prisons. Hopefully feeling like hell.

Sam was feeling great. Well alright maybe not great, just fine. He had been allowed to leave the hospital two days ago. It had made him extremely happy. It wasn't that Sam hated hospitals, no. he just didn't like it when he couldn't decide when to leave or do something. No his freedom was back, partly. Because both Matt and Spike had been with him since he got out of the hospital. And the other members of the team had come by on a regular bases. He wasn't allowed to work for a while, thanks to his arm and his feet. He hated that at this moment he had troubles with walking and moving around. He had to use crutches for a while, to make sure there wasn't much pressure on his feet. He hated them, but what he hated even more were the nightmares. The darkness he had tried to leave behind came back during restless and sleepless nights. Matt and Spike were there. And wordy and Ed sometimes. But they could only do so much. Sam just hoped they would lesson soon.

The rest of the team were scrambled around the garden. Wordy and Ed work working on the barbeque. Jules was playing with one of Wordy's daughters and was talking with Shelly and Sophie. Leah, Spike and Matt were walking around, doing games and having fun. Sam was surprised they hadn't noticed he was sitting there. They had told him to get some sleep an hour or two ago. But he didn't want to sleep, he couldn't, because of the nightmares. So a few minutes ago he had decided to go back outside. Enjoy the sun and the day. He liked watching his friends and family. His real Family (except for Natalie of course) hadn't even came to se him. They simply called. But Sam didn't care anymore. He had a family over here. A family that protected him, a family that love him the way he was. Not the way he should be.

Suddenly someone was sitting next to him. He looked to the right into a young face. Innocent and questioning brown eyes looked back at him. Soft brown hair waving around here face.

'Hey uncle Sammy' Allie, Wordy's middlest, 5 year old daughter said.

'Hey ally.'

'What are you doing here?' she asked.

'Nothing' Sam spoke. Nothing. Nothing at all. Nathans words once again came through his head. But quickly he blocked them. Having it on his arm was already bad enough.

'Ow. Mommy said you were sleeping.'

Sam smiled. Busted. 'Well, I'm not.'

'Why not? Aren't you tired? Mommy says you were sick. Really really sick.'

Sam nodded. 'Yeah I was a bit sick. But I feel much better already. So I am not going to sleep.'

'I don't like Sleeping during the day neither.' Ally told him. 'But mommy and daddy say I fall asleep at dinner if I don't. I told them I disagree.'

Sam laughed at the fancy words, which made Ally smile bright.

'If you won't sleep now, will you than fall asleep during dinner?' She asked interested.

'I doubt it.' Sam started, but after seining Ally's sad face he said. 'You know I might. Will you promise to wake me? So nobody will see?'

Again the little girl smiled brightly and gave him a hug. Sam grinned a little when she touch his arm but did reply the hug. She was so innocent. So amazing. So sweet.

'I promise. But only if you will do the same?'

'Promise.' Sam told here.

Ally got up again and ran towards the swing to play. Sam watched her for a while before standing up and walking, with crutches, towards the Barbeque.

'Hey Sammo, hungry?' Ed asked.

Sam shook his head. He wasn't. somehow food wasn't really satisfying these days.

'You sleep well?' Wordy asked.

Sam nodded, but after a strict look from Ed and a questioned look from Wordy, he laughed softly and shook his head. 'Couldn't sleep.' He spoke.

'Couldn't or wouldn't?' Ed asked.

Sam simply shrugged. 'No difference.' This made them sigh.

'Something bothering you Sammy?' Matt asked him once he came walking towards him.

'No, Nothing.' Again that nothing. Just nothing. Nothing wrong. Nothing going on. Just nothing. Sam didn't like that word anymore. It hold so many memories. Painful and hurtful memories. Memories Sam didn't want to hear. Didn't want to know. Didn't want to remember at all.

Matt nodded an hold Sam's arm. 'It will be alright.' He told Sam, the rest nodded and smiled at him. Sam knew it was going to be alright. He just needed some time. Time and friends. That was the best remedy.

'I know. It will be alright.' He spoke and smiled.

The team continued talking and Matt was once again telling some embarrassing story about him and Sam. Sam didn't really care. He knew quite some stories about Matt and the team and he definitely would tell them soon enough. He smiled a bit at that, before looking around the garden once again. HE simply enjoyed the day and the happiness, the family and the love. Everything would be alright.

Sam knew he wasn't done yet. He still had to recover from what happened. Both physically and mentally. So did the team and so did Matt. Sam still wanted to be sure they were all save. Somehow he had a feeling it wouldn't end here. He had a feeling he wasn't freed of Nathan just yet. Sam also wanted to know why the military had made him believe he had killed Matt? Why didn't they just say it was an enemy attack, like they told Matt? Sam certainly was going to find that one out. At last Sam knew he still had to convince Matt of it, that all of this wasn't his fault. Sam lived with quilt for many years and didn't want his best friend to be swallowed by it.

Sam knew Matt didn't knew what to do with his life. Sam wondered if he would become a soldier again? He wasn't sure he'd survive it if Matt left again.

'Dinner' Ed screamed suddenly. Making everybody move towards the Barbeque. Spike ran hard, but had to make a quick stop when one of Wordy's daughter ran in front if him. He stopped, tripled and fall flat on his bud. Sam laughed, he laughed really hard and smiled towards the team, he were laughing to. Not long later they were all eating and sitting on the big table. Spike bickering about his painful but. Sam simply smiled and eat his plate, until there was nothing left.

Great again Nothing. Damn. He hated that word.

But when he looked around the table he suddenly had the feeling that word might not be so bad after all. Maybe he was nothing, just like Nathan had told him. Nothing without his friends and family. Nothing without a cause to live for. Nothing without a believe. Nothing without hope and care. Nothing without Matt and Spike. Nothing without all the good in the world.

Sam smiled brightly and the Team noticed the lights going on his eyes again.

And for the first time. The first time since this all started. Sam didn't feel fear, or pain, or hurt. He felt love, care, hope. But nothing of any of those bad thing. No darkness, or torture, or nightmares.

Nothing at all.

….

**Tadaa! **

**I really hoped you all liked it. And I would like to thank all of you for the reviews, the favourites and just for reading my story. **

**I hope you all still review for this chapter! I hoped you liked how this troy ended, because the journey aint done yet. A sequel will come. Such as many other stories. **

**You might want a little preview? Alright: here it is: **

**Found brothers. **

**Sam is trying to recover from everything he been trough. But it isn't so easy, to leave the pain and the nightmares behind him. He knows they are getting out of control, but doesn't want to ask for help, since they done so much already.  
Matt doesn't know where his life is going. He doesn't know what his goal will be and he thinks it's hard to stop feeling quilt for what happened to Sam.  
And when the team tries to find answers about the fact that the army told Sam he killed Matt, the end up in a much bigger, and much more dangerous cycle of betrayal, pain and darkness.  
One that is not only a danger to himself, but for his entire team. **

…**.**

**So that's the preview. I hoped you liked it! **

**Have a nice holiday, I will leave for Indonesia in a few hours. **

**Much love and thanks from me, **

**Nadya. **


End file.
